Free sex and feminist marriage can make young men feckless

    by: Bettina Arndt
    From: The Australian
    November 16, 2012 12:00AM

IT seems crazy to remove one of the main motivations inspiring men to succeed in life. But that's just what has happened, according to a thought-provoking article to be published on Sunday in Society. The paper - Sexual Economics, Culture, Men and Modern Sexual Trends - discusses the driving, civilising role traditionally played by sex in prompting men to put their nose to the grindstone to win women and gain access to sexual favours. The sex carrot no longer exists, so what now?

The authors, social psychologists Roy Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs, are experts in gender differences in sexual drive and behaviour. Their argument starts by assuming men want more sex than women do. A lot more. These researchers have spent years making that case, showing not only do men think more about sex than women do, they also desire sex more often and will expend more resources and make more sacrifices for sex. Remember the classic psychology experiment where attractive female research assistants approached male students at Florida State University and asked if they wanted to have sex that night? Seventy-five per cent of the men said yes (and those who couldn't make it often proposed a rain check). With genders reversed, not one woman took up the offer. The lesson is that while women love sex too, men have a greater and far less discriminating appetite for carnal pleasures.

Back in the 1960s, it was difficult to get sex without being married so men married early. Yet to qualify as good husband material, men had to have a job, or at least the prospect of getting one, had to show they were willing to work hard and be willing to commit to family life. So a man's overarching goal of getting sex motivated him to become a respectable stakeholder contributing to society, suggest the psychologists.

"The fact that men became useful members of society as a result of their efforts to obtain sex is not trivial," declare Baumeister and Vohs, pointing out how much that has changed. Many young men nowadays can "skip the wearying detour of getting education and career prospects to qualify for sex". They have easy access to abundant sexual satisfaction, facing an early sex life that, according to Baumeister, probably would have exceeded the most optimistic imagination of most men throughout history. So men learn early that they don't need to buy the cow to get milk.

And as for marriage, all men are well aware that these days most cows are far from generous in allowing access to their milk supply. Baumeister and Vohs point out that the traditional notion of a sexually accommodating wife "has been eroded if not demolished by feminist ideology that has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband".

The result is marriage offers grim prospects for hot-blooded young men: "To sustain a marriage across multiple decades, most husbands must accommodate to the reality of having to contribute work and other resources to a wife whose contribution of sex dwindles sharply in both quantity and quality - and who also may disapprove sharply of him seeking satisfaction in alternative outlets such as prostitution, pornography and extramarital dalliance," say the psychologists.

My own research has revealed just that - many, perhaps a majority of married men spend their lives grovelling for sexual favours from their wives, who also fiercely disapprove of them seeking other outlets for their frustrations, such as using porn, harmless images of naked women and couples having sex, to reduce the loneliness of solitary sexual pleasure. And woe betide the man caught straying from his marriage, let alone paying for sex. It's hard to imagine any other period of history that compares to the sexual straitjacket being offered to men in today's version of matrimony.

Baumeister and Voh's conclusion about the perplexing state of modern sexual economics will resonate strongly for many men: "Today's young men spend their young adulthood having abundant sex with multiple partners and that seems to us to be an exceptionally poor preparation for a lifetime of sexual starvation."

There's much else in this controversial article - such as the authors' contention that despite the fact men still create and run most institutions, the workplace is becoming progressively rigged against them because of anti-discrimination measures favouring women. They ask how it is that men have acquiesced so readily in giving women the upper hand in gaining access to these institutions, suggesting it may be due to the fact success isn't as important as it once was for men, when it was a prerequisite for sex. That's hardly the whole story but it raises interesting issues.

Bettina Arndt is a dating coach www.bettinaarndt.com.au.

Oh geez.

There's so much wrong with that article, I don't even know where to start.

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:02pm:

Oh geez. There's so much wrong with that article, I don't even know where to start.

maybe ... but there's a lot that seems to hit pretty close to the mark !!!!

Oh please.


Quote:

feminist ideology .. has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband.

What's the alternative to that? Waiting impatiently? Husbands forcing their unwilling wives?

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:09pm:

Oh please. Quote: feminist ideology .. has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband. What's the alternative to that? Waiting impatiently? Husbands forcing their unwilling wives?

The alternative is turn wives down when they want sex.  ;D

Yeah. That'll happen.

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:31pm:

Yeah. That'll happen.

Maybe if the guys getting some elsewhere

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:09pm:

Oh please. Quote: feminist ideology .. has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband. What's the alternative to that? Waiting impatiently? Husbands forcing their unwilling wives?

On ya back missy, that's the alternative.

;)

Women are difficult to work out, I have known a number who were proud to tell you that sex isn't important to them.

Invariably these women eventually found that their partners were getting it elsewhere, funny how important it suddenly became.

Dnarever wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:50pm:

Women are difficult to work out, I have known a number who were proud to tell you that sex isn't important to them. Invariably these women eventually found that their partners were getting it elsewhere, funny how important it suddenly became.

It's not the sex that is important, it's that their man is their property and no one else's.

Older single men still need to rely upon having as much status wealth and power in order to attract sex partners, particularly younger ones.

Its still a worthy goal for young men to strive for. Look at the number of older, high powered, men who have extra-marital affairs. In some circumstances its enough to buy the wife into turning a blind eye (Kerry Packer and his wife for example).

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:09pm:

Oh please. Quote: feminist ideology .. has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband. What's the alternative to that? Waiting impatiently? Husbands forcing their unwilling wives?

no ...why is it one or the other? maybe the woman could just say yes ..... I agree to do crap for my wife, that I don't want to, all the time ... is it because I'm forced too? NO ..it's because I want to make her happy ... 

I was watching Dr Phil one day, and they had an old couple ..been married 50 yrs ... when asked what was their secret the elderly lady said that she had never said no when he was in the mood and neither did he if she felt toey .... she was never forced ... never heard of a wife NEVER saying no before that one ... rare breed of woman

today's woman is so busy trying to be equal, she's forgotten that if her husband is in the mood and she says no , that leaves him with two alternatives , his hand or another woman... try as he might to resist the second, if it keeps happening the opportunity will one day come knocking and he will take it. Then the wife can whinge about what a bastard he was for cheating on her.

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:31pm:

Yeah. That'll happen.

Happens all the time.
There are a lot of frustrated women out there.

John Smith wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 9:12pm:

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17th, 2012 at 5:09pm: Oh please. Quote: feminist ideology .. has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband. What's the alternative to that? Waiting impatiently? Husbands forcing their unwilling wives? no ...why is it one or the other? maybe the woman could just say yes ..... I agree to do crap for my wife, that I don't want to, all the time ... is it because I'm forced too? NO ..it's because I want to make her happy ...  I was watching Dr Phil one day, and they had an old couple ..been married 50 yrs ... when asked what was their secret the elderly lady said that she had never said no when he was in the mood and neither did he if she felt toey .... she was never forced ... never heard of a wife NEVER saying no before that one ... rare breed of woman .

Why would anybody want to have sex with a partner who wasn't completely into it? I couldn't think of anything worse.


Quote:

today's woman is so busy trying to be equal, she's forgotten that if her husband is in the mood and she says no , that leaves him with two alternatives , his hand or another woman... try as he might to resist the second, if it keeps happening the opportunity will one day come knocking and he will take it. Then the wife can whinge about what a bastard he was for cheating on her

No. If there is a commitment to monogamy, then it should be honoured. It'd be far better to be open and leave the unsatisfactory partner than to betray the commitment, right?

Wifely duties spark a firestorm

The sex therapist Bettina Arndt's latest book The Sex Diaries has been selling like hottie-cakes, with 10,000 off the shelves in the first three weeks. But it's not just book sales that are up. There may be an Arndt-led recovery of bedroom hanky panky if wives heed her message that their poor deprived husbands deserve more sex.

Based on the bedroom revelations of 98 Australian couples over six to nine months, it has lifted the lid on the unspoken topic of men and women's biologically mismatched sexual desire.

From the Hindustan Times to the E Yugoslavia website, Arndt's exhortation to women to do their "wifely duty" and beef up the sex supply, has certainly been a headline grabber.

"It simply hasn't worked to have a couple's sex life hinge on the fragile, feeble female libido," says Arndt. "The right to say 'no' needs to give way to saying 'yes' more often."

Of course she has been excoriated by feminists for saying that much marital disharmony might be overcome if women just "put the canoe in the water" and start paddling, even if they don't feel like it.

"Bettina Arndt rape cheerleader" was one furious blog response. "F--- you, Bettina Arndt," was another. Eva Cox of the Women's Electoral Lobby launched a counterattack, claiming that it's men's own fault they aren't getting enough sex, because they don't do their fair share of housework.

"After an evening of organising kids, dinner, the shopping, the washing, the homework, etc, maybe [women] are too tired to want sex."

It's an old excuse. As Arndt says, any time men complain about something, even in the anonymity of a sex therapist's book, feminists hit back with the housework furphy. The fact is, when you add up in-home and out-of-home duties, men work just as many hours as women, and sex has very little to do with it.

The latest ABS social trends survey, released last week, found that women do almost twice as much housework as men - 33 hours and 45 minutes a week.

But while men might not do as much vacuuming and ironing, they spend a lot more time than women working outside the house in paid jobs - an average of 31 hours and 50 minutes a week, compared with women's 16 hours and 25 minutes.

In other words, men and women do about the same amount of work in total - about 50 hours a week each. It's called division of labour and it has long been the negotiated settlement of marriage.

Men have tried to up their share of housework - by 8 per cent - since 1992. But it doesn't seem to have increased their share of sex, judging by The Sex Diaries.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2009/04/01/1238261644882.html

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:09pm:

Oh please. Quote: feminist ideology .. has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband. What's the alternative to that? Waiting impatiently? Husbands forcing their unwilling wives?

http://accordingtokeith.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/caveman-dragging-cave-woman.jpg

The alternative for men is to be single -

I mean -  why be married & make one woman miserable -
when you can be single & make many women happy?  ;D

Precisely what I've been banging on about for the last few years.  ::)

Quote:

Bettina Arndt rape cheerleader" was one furious blog response. "F--- you, Bettina Arndt," was another. Eva Cox of the Women's Electoral Lobby launched a counterattack, claiming that it's men's own fault they aren't getting enough sex, because they don't do their fair share of housework. "After an evening of organising kids, dinner, the shopping, the washing, the homework, etc, maybe [women] are too tired to want sex."

I found that on the days when I had done all of the housework , meal preperation and clean up look after the child etc.

It makes absolutly no difference - gaurantteed.

Though they do get annoyed when you stop.

Bobby. wrote on Nov 18^th, 2012 at 4:18pm:

The alternative for men is to be single - I mean -  why be married & make one woman miserable - when you can be single & make many women happy?

Because it is the best most stable and safest environment for your children, in the end that is what life is about.

Dnarever wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:50pm:

Women are difficult to work out, I have known a number who were proud to tell you that sex isn't important to them. Invariably these women eventually found that their partners were getting it elsewhere, funny how important it suddenly became.

Women that tell you they can't orgasm don't like you!

  ::) ::)

John Smith wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 9:12pm:

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 17th, 2012 at 5:09pm: Oh please. Quote: feminist ideology .. has encouraged wives to expect husbands to wait patiently until the wife actually desires sex, with the result that marriage is a prolonged episode of sexual starvation for the husband. What's the alternative to that? Waiting impatiently? Husbands forcing their unwilling wives? no ...why is it one or the other? maybe the woman could just say yes ..... I agree to do crap for my wife, that I don't want to, all the time ... is it because I'm forced too? NO ..it's because I want to make her happy ...  I was watching Dr Phil one day, and they had an old couple ..been married 50 yrs ... when asked what was their secret the elderly lady said that she had never said no when he was in the mood and neither did he if she felt toey .... she was never forced ... never heard of a wife NEVER saying no before that one ... rare breed of woman today's woman is so busy trying to be equal, she's forgotten that if her husband is in the mood and she says no , that leaves him with two alternatives , his hand or another woman... try as he might to resist the second, if it keeps happening the opportunity will one day come knocking and he will take it. Then the wife can whinge about what a bastard he was for cheating on her.

... and take half!   ::) ::)

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 18^th, 2012 at 1:01pm:

[quote author=4C696E6859556B6F726E060 link=1353135189/11#11 date=1353150778][quote author=7F5045505D5854310 link=1353135189/3#3 date=1353136177]Oh please. Why would anybody want to have sex with a partner who wasn't completely into it? I couldn't think of anything worse. thats the whole point ... not so much that she want to have sex, but she should do it to please her husband .... I do things I don't necessarily feel like to please my wife ... No. If there is a commitment to monogamy, then it should be honoured. It'd be far better to be open and leave the unsatisfactory partner than to betray the commitment, right?

now that's the feminist talking ... no guy makes a commitment to monogamy , most guys don't think like that ... they make a commitment to their wife ... and in return she should equally commit to him ...  I'm not saying she has to agree every time ... but if no starts to become the norm, she's not really committed now is she. Why does commitment work one way?

Quote:

thats the whole point ... not so much that she want to have sex, but she should do it to please her husband .... I do things I don't necessarily feel like to please my wife ...

The whole point was...who wants to have sex with someone who is not completely into it?


Quote:

now that's the feminist talking ... no guy makes a commitment to monogamy , most guys don't think like that ... they make a commitment to their wife

Please. Commitment to their wife to do what? Remain faithful, if it's a monogamous relationship. What has that to do with feminism?

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 12:18pm:

Commitment to their wife to do what?

To break their back and/or their soul, slaving to provide for her whims day in, day out, until they keel over.  50 years slavery in exchange for occasional  sex - it's sooooo mysogynistic to expect even that, innit? 

From the article cited in the OP

"When women are in the minority, the sexual marketplace conforms to
their preferences: committed relationships, widespread virginity,
faithful partners, and early marriage. For example,
American colleges in the 1950s conformed to that pattern. In
our analysis, women benefit in such circumstances because
the demand for their sexuality exceeds the supply. In contrast,
when women are the majority, such as on today’s
campuses as well as in some ethnic minority communities,
things shift toward what men prefer: Plenty of sex without
commitment, delayed marriage, extradyadic copulations,
and the like.

It is fashionable to describe all gender relations as reflecting
the oppression and victimization of women. When women
were a minority of students, this was interpreted as indicating
that women were victims of oppressive discrimination. Now
that women are a majority, they are victims because of not
being able to dictate the terms of romantic and sexual behavior."

The whole text is availanble online.
Sexual Economics, Culture, Men, and Modern Sexual Trends. Roy F. Baumeister, Kathleen D. Vohs

Soren wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 12:31pm:

From the article cited in the OP "When women are in the minority, the sexual marketplace conforms to their preferences: committed relationships, widespread virginity, faithful partners, and early marriage. For example, American colleges in the 1950s conformed to that pattern. In our analysis, women benefit in such circumstances because the demand for their sexuality exceeds the supply. In contrast, when women are the majority, such as on today’s campuses as well as in some ethnic minority communities, things shift toward what men prefer: Plenty of sex without commitment, delayed marriage, extradyadic copulations, and the like. It is fashionable to describe all gender relations as reflecting the oppression and victimization of women. When women were a minority of students, this was interpreted as indicating that women were victims of oppressive discrimination. Now that women are a majority, they are victims because of not being able to dictate the terms of romantic and sexual behavior." The whole text is availanble online. Sexual Economics, Culture, Men, and Modern Sexual Trends. Roy F. Baumeister, Kathleen D. Vohs

Soren. I would be interested to hear your POV on the thread.
As in, do you have a position?

I like a variety of positions. Spice of life, innit.

... wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 12:25pm:

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 19th, 2012 at 12:18pm: Commitment to their wife to do what? To break their back and/or their soul, slaving to provide for her whims day in, day out, until they keel over.  50 years slavery in exchange for occasional  sex - it's sooooo mysogynistic to expect even that, innit?

If you feel like that, why marry at all?

BatteriesNotIncluded wrote on Nov 18^th, 2012 at 6:08pm:

Dnarever wrote on Nov 17th, 2012 at 5:50pm: Women are difficult to work out, I have known a number who were proud to tell you that sex isn't important to them. Invariably these women eventually found that their partners were getting it elsewhere, funny how important it suddenly became. Women that tell you they can't orgasm don't like you!

Never met one who told me that but I suspect they didn't all like me.

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 7:47pm:

... wrote on Nov 19th, 2012 at 12:25pm: Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 19th, 2012 at 12:18pm: Commitment to their wife to do what? To break their back and/or their soul, slaving to provide for her whims day in, day out, until they keel over.  50 years slavery in exchange for occasional  sex - it's sooooo mysogynistic to expect even that, innit?  If you feel like that, why marry at all?

Because not all women think it's so much of a chore.  One could ask a women - why marry if you're not prepare to do even that to keep your man happy?  It's all about give n take - feminism has taught women to forget about the 'give' part, and they wonder why men don't continue to play the same role they always did. 

Unforeseen circumstances from interfering in a self-correcting, zero-sum system?  Whoever woulda thunk it?

As the poet says, "she shags like a minx" before the wedding.  Often it turns out to be misleading advertising, coin a phrase.  This is the gist of the article in the OP.

Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 12:18pm:

Quote: thats the whole point ... not so much that she want to have sex, but she should do it to please her husband .... I do things I don't necessarily feel like to please my wife ... The whole point was...who wants to have sex with someone who is not completely into it? You ask any guy if he'll have sex with his wife even if she's not really into it and 90% of them will say yes ... the other 10% are lying or want a divorce. [quote]now that's the feminist talking ... no guy makes a commitment to monogamy , most guys don't think like that ... they make a commitment to their wife

Please. Commitment to their wife to do what? Remain faithful, if it's a monogamous relationship. What has that to do with feminism?

commitment to their wife to provide for her, to be her partner through life, to be there when she needs him, and whatever else she wants ... but it has to work both ways .. she cannot say she wants to be there for him, only to refuse him everytime he needs her .... and femism is the part that links those things to monogomy (either that or to many Mills and Boon novels) ...  they estimate that a partner cheats in about 80% of marriages .... and yet no one goes into a marriage expecting to cheat .. why is that do you think?[/quote]

F Roger Devlin lays out the fundamentals.  Nothing will make sense until these are understood.


Quote:

Fourth, women are, next to children, the main benefi ciaries of marriage. Most men work their lives away at jobs they do not much care for in order to support wife and family. For women, marriage coincides with economic rationality; for a man, going to a prostitute is a better deal. Accordingly, chastity before marriage and fi delity within it are the very least a woman owes her husband. Indeed, on the traditional view, she owes him a great deal more. She is to make a home for him, return gratitude and loyalty for his support of her, and accept his position as head of the family. .... .... However that may be, the modern woman clearly wants the benefi ts of a traditional marriage, but is unwilling to pay the costs; she wants a man to marry her without her having to marry the man. It is the eternal dream of irresponsible freedom: In the feminist formulation, freedom for women, responsibility for men.

http://dontmarry.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/sexualutopia.pdf

Soren wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 6:02pm:

I like a variety of positions. Spice of life, innit.

You most certainly do, old chap. Different strokes, eh?

Marvellous stuff.

Well there ain't much sex happening in Australia.
The women are all career orientated and run the country while the men just play with themselves and their footballs.

Thank god for Boat People.

Bobby. wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 5:30pm:

The alternative is turn wives down when they want sex.  ;D

They say sex-starved wives is society's best kept secret.

Women with horny men may secretly be flattered by their men's enthusiasm and the men are proud of their virility.

For sex-starved wives, it's a totally different story. The wife thinks she isn't attractive and the man is embarrassed about his inability to perform. Neither of them want to talk about it. It's why we have so many ads for weight-loss and for solving erection problems.


Annie Anthrax wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 7:47pm:

If you feel like that, why marry at all?

I see a spike in the number of de facto relationships. ::)


John Smith wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 8:57pm:

You ask any guy if he'll have sex with his wife even if she's not really into it and 90% of them will say yes ... the other 10% are lying or want a divorce.

............. or maybe some of these men just have a low sex drive?


John Smith wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 8:57pm:

they estimate that a partner cheats in about 80% of marriages .... and yet no one goes into a marriage expecting to cheat .. why is that do you think?

The hormones give them an overly optimistic view of the relationship. When they fade, there has to be some other way of keeping the relationship going.

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Nov 17^th, 2012 at 8:23pm:

It's not the sex that is important, it's that their man is their property and no one else's.

That's funny. I've never thought of a man being a woman's property. Traditionally it was the other way round and in our modern society, nobody owns anyone.

Mnemonic wrote on Apr 20^th, 2013 at 2:58am:

Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Nov 17th, 2012 at 8:23pm: It's not the sex that is important, it's that their man is their property and no one else's. That's funny. I've never thought of a man being a woman's property. Traditionally it was the other way round and in our modern society, nobody owns anyone.

Not property in the sense of a commodity to be bought and sold. But like a possession.

Property in the same sense that your children are your property.  You're responsible for ensuring their wellbeing.  Only now, our reponsibilities remain but the means by which we mange our responsibility have been taken.  It's like having to ensure your kids do well at school, yet you can't make them do their work, or even turn upto school.

Never mind - water finds it's own level eventually and the feminist experiment will be rued, then forgotten.

Mnemonic wrote on Apr 20^th, 2013 at 2:58am:

Bobby. wrote on Nov 17th, 2012 at 5:30pm: The alternative is turn wives down when they want sex.  ;D They say sex-starved wives is society's best kept secret. Women with horny men may secretly be flattered by their men's enthusiasm and the men are proud of their virility. For sex-starved wives, it's a totally different story. The wife thinks she isn't attractive and the man is embarrassed about his inability to perform. Neither of them want to talk about it. It's why we have so many ads for weight-loss and for solving erection problems.

Marriage must get boring after a long time.
A man would always see other women as more interesting.
Maybe women feel the same?
It must be a real chore to keep a sex life happening in a marriage.
Maybe that's why many couples just end up being friends & watching TV together?

After many years of unhappy marriage, my advice to any young bloke is

Get a cat for company and pay a professional for sex.

Its cheaper and cats are much better company than a whinging whining wife that is never ever happy.

Getting married is a con, just like being conned into buying a V8 ute, it seems like a good idea at the time but ends in disaster.

Soren wrote on Nov 19^th, 2012 at 8:33pm:

As the poet says, "she shags like a minx" before the wedding.  Often it turns out to be misleading advertising, coin a phrase.  This is the gist of the article in the OP.

It's a well known fact that AFTER marriage .. we wives find ourselves busy bearing and rearing our husband's babies.

The often untold tragedy is that our husbands tend to be the biggest and most difficult of all our babies ... sigh.

Right now, it's all about getting everything done properly and in a timely manner .. so as to get to bed at a decent hour in the hope of gaining some quality sleep.

As regards sex?? If we're lucky .. we might dream about it.

Bobby. wrote on Apr 21^st, 2013 at 9:12am:

Mnemonic wrote on Apr 20th, 2013 at 2:58am: Bobby. wrote on Nov 17th, 2012 at 5:30pm: The alternative is turn wives down when they want sex.  ;D They say sex-starved wives is society's best kept secret. Women with horny men may secretly be flattered by their men's enthusiasm and the men are proud of their virility. For sex-starved wives, it's a totally different story. The wife thinks she isn't attractive and the man is embarrassed about his inability to perform. Neither of them want to talk about it. It's why we have so many ads for weight-loss and for solving erection problems. Marriage must get boring after a long time. A man would always see other women as more interesting. Maybe women feel the same? It must be a real chore to keep a sex life happening in a marriage. Maybe that's why many couples just end up being friends & watching TV together?

IMO, friendship is an important foundation for a healthy relationship/marriage.

Watching television together is just one area in which a couple can share time and relax together ( it's also the only time I get my relaxing foot massage lol ).

Food for thought eh Bobby :)