MENS RULES

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If i t's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
     Only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
     Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days..

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us..

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
     we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not  A colour.
    Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want
    to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such
    topics as Football or Cricket.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Why can't a woman be like that?
Why does every one do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up, well, like their father instead?

Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please.
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease.

Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?

chimera wrote on Aug 18^th, 2021 at 9:23am:

Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historically fair. Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Why can't a woman be like that? Why does every one do what the others do? Can't a woman learn to use her head? Why do they do everything their mothers do? Why don't they grow up, well, like their father instead? Why can't a woman take after a man? Men are so pleasant, so easy to please. Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease. Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?

You're a David Bowie fan, then?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KcOs70dZAw

Oh dear no, he's the opposite sex.

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chimera wrote on Aug 18^th, 2021 at 9:23am:

Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historically fair. Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Why can't a woman be like that? Why does every one do what the others do? Can't a woman learn to use her head? Why do they do everything their mothers do? Why don't they grow up, well, like their father instead? Why can't a woman take after a man? Men are so pleasant, so easy to please. Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease. Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?

Looks like a quote from My fair lady.
I prefer the Pygmalion version myself.