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http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl General Discussion >> Chat >> Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent http://www.ozpolitic.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1657980118 Message started by Marla on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 12:01am

Title: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Marla on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 12:01am

Yours truly is planning to go to the land of Vegemite bliss this December which is your summer to my winter and to all of our heart's discontent. Even my travel agent was an "Ozzie" sorry, AuZZie, no wait, it's Fozzie the Bear, right?

What a "local" Australian travel agent looks like.

Our conversation was meaningless an pointless as he took my money:

"Ere, uur, youuul 'ave a wuderful time, mate."

See? SEE? Immediately this dude starts calling me his "mate"

So I'm like "Dude, I not not going by a god damn ship, am I?"

He laughs. Thinks to himself 'Another god damn lowly-educated American on my hands.'

"Egits jus un' expression, mate. Like huw uwe Ameurcuns says "dude."

Well!

So I'm all like "Dude, the word dude is universal and succinct to the letter in that it means your life and personal existence and interest don't mean anything to me."

And then he's all like "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude."

While there I'm more than planning on being the ugly American tourist as I can possibly be. I'll intentionally mispronounce everything like Canberra as "Can-of-berra" brekky as "brake fast" and be sure to wear a Fosters t-shirt with a silk screen of Chris Hemsworth blowing Hugh Jackman on the back.

I dunno. Maybe some Trump gear so I can get in good with the local racist seeing that weed is not legal there what else is there to do?

Don't want to "see" the beaches" or one single kangaroo because we all know that Eckhart dude will be "rooting" them all with his anti-America hook-and-sloganism. I mean, gross. No I want to see bogans. Loads and loads of bogans for I hear they are like Texuuns only with better accents and can count above 3. Then to top it all off, I'll visit a couple of aboriginal ghettos. I'll be safe, right? It's not like they can afford Rohypnol or have a gun.

If I have any remaining leftover "fiddly" I'll venture into the Outback and take a selfie and say, "There is where they filmed Mad Max" and are flimflaming another one now with that hot girl from the Queen's Gambit." So touristy.

I hope to die from dehydration only to consume gallons of Fosters from bathtub (I hear it runs backwards there), develop kangaroo pox from a bogan, stalk Steve Kilbey, see Pine Gap where the CIA plans all their political assassination operations, meet a Fozzie lesbian (but not Ruby Rose) and take her back to L.A. and maybe if there is still time celebrate on watching the Great Barrier Reef slowly die.

Wuderful time, indeed.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by AusGeoff on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 12:10am

I'm still laughing mate! Comedy gold.

;D ;D ;D

Seriously though, I'm sure you'll enjoy your holiday downunder.
Just make very certain to watch out for our drop bears though;
far too many an overseas tourist has ended up in hospital after
an encounter with these rabid killers.

—Cop ya later cobber. ;)

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Marla on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 12:28am

Thanks! I'm going to Mail Born because I once heard the great Colin Hay walked upon the soil there. He's an American citizen now like that dude from Tears for Fears so he sold his soul. Both of them live right up the street from me in L.A. where I work in the summer.

Had zero interest to go to Sid Knee due to the fact the Fozzie travel agent told me of many "great deals" there. Who cares about deals? For how much air travel is these days I want to go where I'll get lost easily and end up being date raped by an ex-pat limey who is a staunch Bananarama fan although Sid Knee has much better ghettos. You know, where Eckhart lives burning American flags in the name of Jesus just to keep warm.

Loads of bummers, though. Like Starbucks and The Gap Stores everywhere Did see this on a Mail Born image search

Looks a lot like east Denver - only cleaner.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by UnSubRocky on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:40am

Australia is a third-world country because we are a primary producer society. Most things related to my town are either primary cattle industry or mining related. There is no real drive to innovate in this country.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Marla on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am

But...but...but...

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by AusGeoff on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 7:28am

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 12:28am:

LOL... this is suburban Redfern where most of Sydney's boongs live.
BTW, you should've seen this terrace before the government gave it
a facelift. Looks nice now ay?

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by FutureTheLeftWant on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 7:32am

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 12:01am:

Who in the christ uses a travel agent in 2022? America is a third world country, of course. In your time here you won't see news stories about mass shootings or poor people dying of preventable disease

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Jake Winker Frogen on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:50pm

At yet the world's desperate try to flee here and not flee from Australia.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by The Heartless Felon on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 5:50pm

You'll be fine here Marla, as long as you bring your map of Tasmania...

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Jake Winker Frogen on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:05pm

Australia is the greatest country on Earth.

Now get a dog up in ya!

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by John Smith on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:23pm

The Heartless Felon wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 5:50pm:

You'll be fine here Marla, as long as you bring your map of Tasmania...

;D ;D ;D

she won't get that one.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by John Smith on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Bias_2012 on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:35pm

Foster's ?? ... how sick do you want to be the next morning?

Go for the best, Tooheys New, or XXXX

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by lee on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:41pm

Keep Australia beautiful... stay home.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by mothra on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 4:02pm

AusGeoff wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 7:28am:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 12:28am:

LOL... this is suburban Redfern where most of Sydney's boongs live.
BTW, you should've seen this terrace before the government gave it
a facelift. Looks nice now ay?

Good to see you finally coming out as a bona fide racist. You've been circling the drain sine you've got here. No question now.

I repeat, pity, you showed promise.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Jake Winker Frogen on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 5:36pm

Naaaaaa!

I do not want to be an asshole and run the board again.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by UnSubRocky on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 6:00pm

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:23pm:

The Heartless Felon wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 5:50pm:

You'll be fine here Marla, as long as you bring your map of Tasmania...

;D ;D ;D

she won't get that one.

Probably more like Fraser Island.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by UnSubRocky on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 6:02pm

mothra wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 4:02pm:

Good to see you finally coming out as a bona fide racist. You've been circling the drain sine you've got here. No question now.

I repeat, pity, you showed promise.

Why is it that every suburb that houses numerous indigenous people seems to become a poorer place to live?

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Jake Winker Frogen on Jul 22^nd, 2022 at 5:26pm

UnSubRocky wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 6:02pm:

mothra wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 4:02pm:

Good to see you finally coming out as a bona fide racist. You've been circling the drain sine you've got here. No question now.

I repeat, pity, you showed promise.

Why is it that every suburb that houses numerous indigenous people seems to become a poorer place to live?

Well that is a question everyone in Australia should be asking.

First of all the First peoples.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by issuevoter on Jul 22^nd, 2022 at 11:20pm

I would never contest this assertion. In fact, it should be publicised all over the, well . . . third world.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Ye Grappler on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 12:09am

It is.... and a Banana Republic to boot.. and our governments treat the common folk with the same kind of contempt as any self-adoring El Presidente ... and sweet little earners are handed out to friends and family at government expense...

What's not Third World about it?

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Marla on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 12:22am

Tourist paradise.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by greggerypeccary on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:04am

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

I'm not sure Fosters is sold in Australia any more.

I haven't seen it for decades.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Ye Grappler on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:40am

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:04am:

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

I'm not sure Fosters is sold in Australia any more.

I haven't seen it for decades.

Not a bad thing, either.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by FutureTheLeftWant on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 9:10am

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:04am:

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

I'm not sure Fosters is sold in Australia any more.

I haven't seen it for decades.

I did a music cruise out of Florida. Most people there assumed we drink Fosters. They all drank it because it was the cheapest

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by John_Taverner on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 10:31am

I saw the header, but realised that it was tongue in cheek.

Seriously, if you want to see the real Third World, have a look at the shanty towns around Honolulu or even LA.

We have some run-down suburbs, but nothing quite that bad.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by John_Taverner on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 10:36am

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:04am:

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

I'm not sure Fosters is sold in Australia any more.

I haven't seen it for decades.

It's available at most online bottle shops. Dan's advertise it, but you won't see it many bottle shops. It's imported of course. It's brewed in Manchester, but there was talk of it trying to make a comeback. That was before Covid. Its reputation is very tainted, so it will be difficult to make a comeback.

If you want Carslberg, Budweiser or Coors, you'll have a better chance of finding them in physical stores. Corona and Peroni are commonplace. Even I drink those.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by greggerypeccary on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 11:09am

FutureTheLeftWant wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 9:10am:

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:04am:

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

I'm not sure Fosters is sold in Australia any more.

I haven't seen it for decades.

I did a music cruise out of Florida. Most people there assumed we drink Fosters. They all drank it because it was the cheapest

Whenever I go to Vienna there are bars there that have huge awnings out the front covered in Fosters advertising, and my relatives always try to get me to go into those pubs.

"They'll have the beer you like".

This pub is in Vienna:

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by UnSubRocky on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 3:34pm

John_Taverner wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 10:31am:

Third-world countries generally produce primary products as their exports. Australia has a large farming and mining industry. What little we produce in other industries is only a fraction of what other first-world societies produce.

We can be a third-world country with first-world living conditions.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by issuevoter on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 4:21pm

Some of the world's worst beers: Fosters, XXXX, Coors, Pabst Blue Ribbon. But more importantly, if Australia were 3rd World, they would not want to come here.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Frank on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 4:38pm

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 11:09am:

FutureTheLeftWant wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 9:10am:

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:04am:

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

I'm not sure Fosters is sold in Australia any more.

I haven't seen it for decades.

I did a music cruise out of Florida. Most people there assumed we drink Fosters. They all drank it because it was the cheapest

I've seen it, never been inside.
https://www.downunder.at/

Kleines Cafe is my fave.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by greggerypeccary on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 5:03pm

Frank wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 4:38pm:

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 11:09am:

FutureTheLeftWant wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 9:10am:

greggerypeccary wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 8:04am:

John Smith wrote on Jul 18^th, 2022 at 3:24pm:

Marla wrote on Jul 17^th, 2022 at 1:44am:

But...but...but...

thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter

I'm not sure Fosters is sold in Australia any more.

I haven't seen it for decades.

I did a music cruise out of Florida. Most people there assumed we drink Fosters. They all drank it because it was the cheapest

I've seen it, never been inside.
https://www.downunder.at/

Kleines Cafe is my fave.

Mine too.

I've spent many hours sitting outside watching the world go by.

(Gets a bit smoky inside)

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Ye Grappler on Jul 25^th, 2022 at 12:27pm

.... uummm.... lock in.... d), Eddie... "Because the politicians have never gotten over 'home on the sheep's back' with all its opportunities for a New Aristocracy to ride high on the relative lack of rights of the common folk, and they wish things to return to that time nearly 100 years ago so they and their mates can enjoy the good life without hindrance from those pesky voters......."

Can't have the peasantry getting above themselves, you know.....

.... the above public interest comment brought to you courtesy of Grappler Ski Instruction and Guided Mountain Tours - taking the piste for over fifty years ........ we specialise in bringing the very finest piste taking to you... strictly managed under inclusion and diversity regulations ..... nobody misses out with us ........

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by Ye Grappler on Jul 25^th, 2022 at 5:35pm

Nah then, people - as a retired elf professional, I've been asked to offer opinion on how to reduce stress and mental issues with young Australians.

I'd like to gather/harvest your thoughts... anyone??

Shifty - I'll put you down for "Kill Off The Boomers"...

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by John_Taverner on Jul 26^th, 2022 at 10:40am

issuevoter wrote on Jul 23^rd, 2022 at 4:21pm:

Some of the world's worst beers: Fosters, XXXX, Coors, Pabst Blue Ribbon. But more importantly, if Australia were 3rd World, they would not want to come here.

Southwark and West End are worse.

Title: Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Post by UnSubRocky on Jul 27^th, 2022 at 4:36pm

Grappler Truth Teller Feller wrote on Jul 25^th, 2022 at 12:27pm:

.... uummm.... lock in.... d), Eddie...

I thought you were about to talk about that Melburnian resident "C. Lochidineddy".