Yeah...I know...there are a zillion lawyer zingers but this one was actually reported in today's local rag.


Quote:

As Magistrate Matthew McLaughlin read a GP’s report, lawyer Pamela Sweetapple said Ward had unsuccessfully tried to take his own life on December 21.

FMD!

Aussie wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 3:03pm:

Yeah...I know...there are a zillion lawyer zingers but this one was actually reported in today's local rag. Quote: As Magistrate Matthew McLaughlin read a GP’s report, lawyer Pamela Sweetapple said Ward had unsuccessfully tried to take his own life on December 21. FMD!

Crikey Aussie - what’s it to you? In any event it’s just some obscure local court matter anyway.

Lisa Jones wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 4:06pm:

Aussie wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 3:03pm: Yeah...I know...there are a zillion lawyer zingers but this one was actually reported in today's local rag. Quote: As Magistrate Matthew McLaughlin read a GP’s report, lawyer Pamela Sweetapple said Ward had unsuccessfully tried to take his own life on December 21. FMD! Crikey Aussie - what’s it to you? In any event it’s just some obscure local court matter anyway.

*Unsuccessfully tried to take his life.*

No schit Sherlock...given the bloke's in the Court Room about t be sentenced!

FMD

This was actually said in court and taken from a transcript:


Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Aussie wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 4:19pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 4:06pm: Aussie wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 3:03pm: Yeah...I know...there are a zillion lawyer zingers but this one was actually reported in today's local rag. Quote: As Magistrate Matthew McLaughlin read a GP’s report, lawyer Pamela Sweetapple said Ward had unsuccessfully tried to take his own life on December 21. FMD! Crikey Aussie - what’s it to you? In any event it’s just some obscure local court matter anyway. *Unsuccessfully tried to take his life.* No schit Sherlock...given the bloke's in the Court Room about to be sentenced! FMD

Duh!

I agree even!

(I think perhaps you should have pointed out the fact that these words were stated by a very well known and experienced barrister of QLD)

Have you ever met Pamela Sweetapple in the courtroom, Aussie?

Gordon wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 6:11pm:

Have you ever met Pamela Sweetapple in the courtroom, Aussie?

No.

Nor anywhere else.

Aussie wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 6:57pm:

Gordon wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 6:11pm: Have you ever met Pamela Sweetapple in the courtroom, Aussie? No. Nor anywhere else.

Sweetapple.

What interesting surnames you Anglo Saxon Celts have.

Lisa Jones wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 7:26pm:

Aussie wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 6:57pm: Gordon wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 6:11pm: Have you ever met Pamela Sweetapple in the courtroom, Aussie? No. Nor anywhere else. Sweetapple. What interesting surnames you Anglo Saxon Celts have.

Way back when I dated a chick with the last name Twentyman. I always joked is that your bodycount?

Gordon wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 8:12pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 7:26pm: Aussie wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 6:57pm: Gordon wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 6:11pm: Have you ever met Pamela Sweetapple in the courtroom, Aussie? No. Nor anywhere else. Sweetapple. What interesting surnames you Anglo Saxon Celts have. Way back when I dated a chick with the last name Twentyman. I always joked is that your bodycount?

😂🤣😆

Well apparently the last names reflected the occupation of ancestors ie what they did all day. I reckon that girl’s forefather was a bloody contract killer or an executioner lol.

Way back when I had the chance to date an Aussie guy from Uni....I made the decision not to. His last name wasn’t Butcher or Smith or Baker.....it was Handcock. So of course I knew there and then that he was a descendent of a bona fide w@nker.

Lisa Jones wrote on Feb 16^th, 2023 at 9:21pm:

Gordon wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 8:12pm: Lisa Jones wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 7:26pm: Aussie wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 6:57pm: Gordon wrote on Feb 16th, 2023 at 6:11pm: Have you ever met Pamela Sweetapple in the courtroom, Aussie? No. Nor anywhere else. Sweetapple. What interesting surnames you Anglo Saxon Celts have. Way back when I dated a chick with the last name Twentyman. I always joked is that your bodycount? 😂🤣😆 Well apparently the last names reflected the occupation of ancestors ie what they did all day. I reckon that girl’s forefather was a bloody contract killer or an executioner lol. Way back when I had the chance to date an Aussie guy from Uni....I made the decision not to. His last name wasn’t Butcher or Smith or Baker.....it was Handcock. So of course I knew there and then that he was a descendent of a bona fide w@nker.

Well he would have suited you as you being a wanker that is!  ;D ;D ;D