Looking to raise finance for renovating/extending my home.

• Fencing/grading etc that BIG backyard, planting trees, getting the vege/herb garden established $6-7K

• Reroofing some time in the future. $10K

• Conservatory. $25K?

• Solar panels. ?

• Etc

Even just painting the house plus the exterior of two wooden sheds will cost. One wooden shed I might convert into a small residence to rent out.

At my age of 76 I cannot arrange a conventional mortgage.


Thoughts?

I am trying to leave the beneficiary in my will as big an inheritance as possible, hence the idea to rent space, reduce the amount owed.

Easiest way to raise equity is to add a bedroom. If you have a garage attached convert it to a bedroom.

I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations.

I could rent out a bedroom I suppose.

But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions

Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal.

But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade.

freediver wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:55am:

Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade.

Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around.

If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home.

Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise.

If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property.

Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9%


That is what I found using Google.

Do you really need all those renos? You might regret spending that $80k in 5 or 10 years time, and whoever buys the house one day may not place any value on them.

For once, FD actually has a point Monk. It's very easy to over capitalise in smaller or regional towns.

I suppose.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 4:06pm:

freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google.

The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house.

;D

Jasin wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 6:08pm:

;D

Small things ......

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 6:04pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house.

Nasty is not compulsory.

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 6:04pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house.

It’s probably Drunk’s girl dog. 😂🤣😆

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20^th, 2023 at 9:22am:

I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions

Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes?

THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60.

$60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

Dnarever wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 7:54pm:

Gordon wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 6:04pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house. Nasty is not compulsory.

I just ignore the slimy grub and screaming autistic and fantasist Larry.

According to the grub I have already gone through my inheritance. Brainless moron, sulking about some minor thing happened in 2020 or so.

Larry is wildly jealous I live in my own house. He is also jealous as hell I have my beautiful dog Socks. Why is Larry jealous of this? Christ, Larry was even threatening to steal Socks at one stage. Sick autistic nutcase!


Human crud of no worth.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 9:24pm:

Dnarever wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 7:54pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 6:04pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house. Nasty is not compulsory. I just ignore the slimy grub and screaming autistic and fantasist Larry. According to the grub I have already gone through my inheritance. Brainless moron, sulking about some minor thing happened in 2020 or so. Larry is wildly jealous I live in my own house. He is also jealous as hell I have my beautiful dog Socks. Why is Larry jealous of this? Christ, Larry was even threatening to steal Socks at one stage. Sick autistic nutcase! Human crud of no worth.

Your inheritance should have been quarantined to prevent you from drinking it.

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 6:04pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house.

The demented dhead is referring to his freaking bloody dog ffs!

Dumbarse Drunk is yet to realise that within a yr or 2 his current house will be forced to sell (given its position and state of disrepair it will probably sell for around $450K max). Said money will have to go into a nursing home deposit scheme for Drunk’s upkeep.

Of course I’m assuming the Drunk doesn’t drop dead in his lonely igloo which is so close to Antarctica in the mean time 😐

Socks is not yet 2yo.

I am referring to my great niece as anybody with a functioning brain would realise.

The house is fine. At some stage the roof will need to be replaced is all. Sorry, Larry, I am a homeowner and you rent a squalid HC flat.

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 9:34pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 9:24pm: Dnarever wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 7:54pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 6:04pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house. Nasty is not compulsory. I just ignore the slimy grub and screaming autistic and fantasist Larry. According to the grub I have already gone through my inheritance. Brainless moron, sulking about some minor thing happened in 2020 or so. Larry is wildly jealous I live in my own house. He is also jealous as hell I have my beautiful dog Socks. Why is Larry jealous of this? Christ, Larry was even threatening to steal Socks at one stage. Sick autistic nutcase! Human crud of no worth. Your inheritance should have been quarantined to prevent you from drinking it.

Dumbarse Dhead has already wasted the little he did get by buying and quickly selling some useless bit of arid land in Tasmania.

As we all know ... the guy is pushing 80 and because of old age and long term alcohol abuse he’s got dementia so he forgets what he says but he always posts utter illogical BS. Drunk will be lucky to live for another year. If he does...the cheap hovel he’s camping in will just have to sell to help pay his nursing home bill. His old age pension will also have to go to the nursing home. The current home he’s in isn’t worth 400K.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

I am only 76, Larry. YOU obviously are facing reaching some age that has you worried and, coward that you are, you project that onto others.

WTF did you get this crap about “arid land” from? None in Tassie! On the west coast they get like 1500mm rainb a year, every other day is a rain day. Obviously you got “arid land” out of some part of your brain damaged by drug use.

I bought some land and 4 years later sold it for a very nice profit. You should try it  ;D ;D ;D ;D

If you borrowed $60 and bought your groggery.
I'm sure you'd feel rich.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

Poor Larry, so jealous.

A real estate agent told me that the best way to increase a rental or house value
was to add another bathroom and bedroom.
By bathroom he meant a walk in shower, basin and toilet.

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 9:34pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 9:24pm: Dnarever wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 7:54pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 6:04pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house. Nasty is not compulsory. I just ignore the slimy grub and screaming autistic and fantasist Larry. According to the grub I have already gone through my inheritance. Brainless moron, sulking about some minor thing happened in 2020 or so. Larry is wildly jealous I live in my own house. He is also jealous as hell I have my beautiful dog Socks. Why is Larry jealous of this? Christ, Larry was even threatening to steal Socks at one stage. Sick autistic nutcase! Human crud of no worth. Your inheritance should have been quarantined to prevent you from drinking it.

Dumbarse Dhead has already wasted the little he did get by buying and quickly selling some useless bit of arid land in Tasmania.

As we all know ... the guy is pushing 80 and because of old age and long term alcohol abuse he’s got dementia so he forgets what he says but he always posts utter illogical BS. Drunk will be lucky to live for another year. If he does...the cheap hovel he’s camping in will just have to sell to help pay his nursing home bill. His old age pension will also have to go to the nursing home. The current hovel he’s in isn’t worth 400K.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

Again the arid land?

No arid land in Tasmania. Simple—all the cyclones and anticyclones that water the southern fringe of the mainland ALL end up over Tasmania. Lowest rainfall I could find was Launceston, somewhere between 300-400mm per year. Launceston is in a rain shadow of high hills paralleling the Tamar River.

Waratah towards the north of the west coast gets 1500mm rain per year—people there that want to harvest the rain don’t use rainwater tanks, they just use a 44gal drum.

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 9:34pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 9:24pm: Dnarever wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 7:54pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 6:04pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house. Nasty is not compulsory. I just ignore the slimy grub and screaming autistic and fantasist Larry. According to the grub I have already gone through my inheritance. Brainless moron, sulking about some minor thing happened in 2020 or so. Larry is wildly jealous I live in my own house. He is also jealous as hell I have my beautiful dog Socks. Why is Larry jealous of this? Christ, Larry was even threatening to steal Socks at one stage. Sick autistic nutcase! Human crud of no worth. Your inheritance should have been quarantined to prevent you from drinking it.

Dumbarse Dhead has already wasted the little he did get by buying and quickly selling some useless bit of arid land in Tasmania.

As we all know ... the guy is pushing 80 and because of old age and long term alcohol abuse he’s got dementia so he forgets what he says but he always posts utter illogical BS. Drunk will be lucky to live for another year. If he does...the cheap hovel he’s camping in will just have to sell to help pay his nursing home bill. His old age pension will also have to go to the nursing home. The current hovel he’s in isn’t worth 400K.

There is no arid land in Tasmania.

I am 76 not 80. YOU, Larry, are obviously facing some landmark age and are afraid of it and, as is your cowardly wont, you project that onto others.

I do not have dementia, I am glad to say.


YOU are the one spouting absolute crap and because of your autism and drug abuse think you speak perfect sense.

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 6:04pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house.

The demented dhead is referring to his freaking bloody dog ffs!

Dumbarse Drunk is yet to realise that within a yr or 2 his current house will be forced to sell (given its position and state of disrepair it will probably sell for around $450K max). Said money will have to go into a nursing home deposit scheme for Drunk’s upkeep.

Of course I’m assuming the Drunk doesn’t drop dead in his lonely igloo which is so close to Antarctica in the mean time 😐

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 9:18am:

Gordon wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 6:04pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house. The demented dhead is referring to his freaking bloody dog ffs! Dumbarse Drunk is yet to realise that within a yr or 2 his current house will be forced to sell (given its position and state of disrepair it will probably sell for around $450K max). Said money will have to go into a nursing home deposit scheme for Drunk’s upkeep. Of course I’m assuming the Drunk doesn’t drop dead in his lonely igloo which is so close to Antarctica in the mean time 😐

No, Larry, I am talking about my great niece. Anybody with two active braincells could have worked that out.

The house is fine. It could do with some redecorating/renovation but all houses that have some age need that. The building inspection report showed nothing serious wrong with the house.

You know nothing about the position of my house. This is the autism making you think you know something.

Weatherwise I am 5500Km from Antarctica, about 400Km south of Melbum.

Healthwise I am OK. Unlike you I am not obese and apart from joints not being their best there is nothing wrong with my physical and mental health, again unlike poor you.

My trees are largely in leaf and some are even blossoming! I love it here!

The only person who will get a penny out of Monk is Dan.
DAN MURPHY

The slimy grub also sounds jealous.

Gordon wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 6:04pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 4:06pm: freediver wrote on Sep 21st, 2023 at 8:55am: Borrow the money from your beneficiary. Or get an unconventional mortgage. eg a reverse mortgage. If you are only borrowing a small fraction of what the place is worth, you should be able to get a reasonable deal. But if you are short on cash, I would just refrain from spending the money unless you have to. It's not an investment, it's an upgrade. Beneficiary is an 11yo girl  ;D. Her mother doesn’t have a spare $80K just lying around. If you are in Melbourne or Sydney you can sell a share of your equity in your home. Say house is $1m, you can sell a 20% share but not for $200K, for less than that—the equity sold increases in value as house prices rise. If you are on the age pension you can get like $500 per fortnight, tax free, paid to you, also secured by your property. Or there is the reverse mortgage—the interest really grows if you make no payments. However, the debt cannot exceed the total equity of your property. Interest rates currently are around 9% That is what I found using Google. The 11 year old girl will get nothing because you'll drink your house.

The demented dhead is referring to his freaking bloody dog ffs!

Dumbarse Drunk is yet to realise that within a yr or 2 his current house will be forced to sell (given its position and state of disrepair it will probably sell for around $450K max). Said money will have to go into a nursing home deposit scheme for Drunk’s upkeep.

Of course I’m assuming the Drunk doesn’t drop dead in his lonely igloo which is so close to Antarctica in the mean time 😐

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

Gordon wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 9:58am:

The only person who will get a penny out of Monk is Dan. DAN MURPHY

😂🤣😆

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 10:43am:

The slimy grub also sounds jealous.

You're a drunk and you'll drink yourself broke.

Gordon wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 11:11am:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 10:43am: The slimy grub also sounds jealous. You're a drunk and you'll drink yourself broke.

Says the forums resident druggo ::)

Why are these idiots so jealous of my house? Really weird.

Well, Larry’s is explicable: he rents a squalid HC flat.

Gordon wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 11:11am:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 10:43am: The slimy grub also sounds jealous. You're a drunk and you'll drink yourself broke.

Dumbarse Drunk is already broke. That’s why he’s into thieving.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

FMD not once have I ever taken money from a human being in my life!

If anything I have always helped others financially by giving them e-gift vouchers to help them buy groceries at either Coles or Woolworths. The process takes under 60 seconds too. You simply text them the voucher code, the 4 number PIN code and the amount it’s for.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 11:30am:

Why are these idiots so jealous of my house? Really weird.

Other only thing that’s weird is that your last alcohol fried brain cell has convinced you that we are all idiots and you’re not AND we are all jealous of an 80 yr old alcoholic pensioner who waited for his 100 yr old mum to die before he could buy an old hovel in Antarctica that’s not even worth 400K and needs heaps of repairs. Drunk Dufus!

https://media.tenor.com/Q9V6GFYp7kMAAAAC/crazy-crazy-lady.gif

You ARE wildly jealous, Larry. Why? Is it because you own no property and rent a small HC flat? That is what you sound like.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 11:41am:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 11:30am: Why are these idiots so jealous of my house? Really weird. Other only thing that’s weird is that your last alcohol fried brain cell has convinced you that we are all idiots and you’re not AND we are all jealous of an 80 yr old alcoholic pensioner who waited for his 100 yr old mum to die before he could buy an old hovel in Antarctica that’s not even worth 400K and needs heaps of repairs. Drunk Dufus!

That you and Booby are idiots is pretty obvious reading your posts.

Just read the autisitic idiot Larry crapping on about my house, a house he knows nothing about! Real estate is not something he knows much about.

Leaving Dumbarse Drunk for a moment let’s move on to the other Mong nutter in this topic : Five Foot Frodo Fruitloop.

Anyone know why Five Foot Frodo Fruitloop keeps posting up that pic of Mad Methra without the old boomer’s usual blue rinse? Did he get that footage when Mad Methra came tearing down his driveway trying to knock down his front door to continue yelling at his now ex wife??

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 11:41am:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 11:30am: Why are these idiots so jealous of my house? Really weird. Other only thing that’s weird is that your last alcohol fried brain cell has convinced you that we are all idiots and you’re not AND we are all jealous of an 80 yr old alcoholic pensioner who waited for his 100 yr old mum to die before he could buy an old hovel in Antarctica that’s not even worth 400K and needs heaps of repairs. Drunk Dufus!

👆 Up for Demented Dufus Drunk who steals money from others online and never has enough money because of long term alcoholism.

John Smith is not Frodo. Frodo is likely a figment of your drug damaged brain.

He is posting how you come across here on OzPol with the large fonts, the highlighting and the incredible repetition, sign of a very limited mind.

John gave me expert advice re paint colors.

Monk, nobody is jealous of your corrugated iron lean-to on a patch of mud in isolated Tasmania. This whole thread is based on you not even having the reserves to raise a paltry  $50K.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 12:00pm:

John gave me expert advice re paint colors.

Should I paint my corrugated iron lean-to urine yellow?
Nah paint it white.

Expert advice from a mong to a drunk,

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 11:57am:

Leaving Dumbarse Drunk for a moment let’s move on to the other Mong nutter in this topic : Five Foot Frodo Fruitloop. Anyone know why Five Foot Frodo Fruitloop keeps posting up that pic of Mad Methra without the old boomer’s usual blue rinse? Did he get that footage when Mad Methra came tearing down his driveway trying to knock down his front door to continue yelling at his now ex wife??

Frodo is currently $hitting himself because he knows what he’s PMed me.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 12:00pm:

John gave me expert advice re paint colors.

Actually no he didn’t. See how drunk n dumb you are Dumbarse Drunk?

Gordon wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 12:03pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:00pm: John gave me expert advice re paint colors. Should I paint my corrugated iron lean-to urine yellow? Nah paint it white. Expert advice from a mong to a drunk,

It’s not even expert or advice. It’s the chit chat of 2 poofters at a hair dressing salon talking about the colours of their pubes!

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 21^st, 2023 at 8:46pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 20th, 2023 at 9:22am: I have a long wooden shed could be a small residence—after $15–20K renovations. I could rent out a bedroom I suppose. But I need cash—a new car, renovations/extensions Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes? THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60. $60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

FMD not once have I ever taken money from a human being in my life!

If anything I have always helped others financially by giving them e-gift vouchers to help them buy groceries at either Coles or Woolworths. The process takes under 60 seconds too. You simply text them the voucher code, the 4 number PIN code and the amount it’s for.

Apart from being jealous of my house you are jealous of my dog!

Now, Socks is a beautiful dog with a very sweet nature despite some nasty things done to her before she strayed and ended up with the RSPCA, but she is just a dog.

You even talked for a while of you stealing my dog before reality percolated through all the drug damaged brain.

You do not know where I live or much about the house except that it is situated on 2 acres. So maybe shut up about it?

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 12:08pm:

Gordon wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:03pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:00pm: John gave me expert advice re paint colors. Should I paint my corrugated iron lean-to urine yellow? Nah paint it white. Expert advice from a mong to a drunk, It’s not even expert or advice. It’s the chit chat of 2 poofters at a hair dressing salon talking about the colours of their pubes!

It was expert advice that my sister agreed with 100%. She runs a hardware store so sells lots of paint.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 12:35pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:08pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:03pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:00pm: John gave me expert advice re paint colors. Should I paint my corrugated iron lean-to urine yellow? Nah paint it white. Expert advice from a mong to a drunk, It’s not even expert or advice. It’s the chit chat of 2 poofters at a hair dressing salon talking about the colours of their pubes! It was expert advice that my sister agreed with 100%. She runs a hardware store so sells lots of paint.

Ha!

The 80 yr old Drunk Demented Dumbarse just fessed he didn’t really need to ask Frodo the Dodo (who isn’t even a painter ffs) anything 😂🤣😆

Go change your overflowing colostomy bag Dumbarse Drunk. Snd FFS stop using it to spray paint your walls yellow!

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 12:50pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:35pm: Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:08pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:03pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:00pm: John gave me expert advice re paint colors. Should I paint my corrugated iron lean-to urine yellow? Nah paint it white. Expert advice from a mong to a drunk, It’s not even expert or advice. It’s the chit chat of 2 poofters at a hair dressing salon talking about the colours of their pubes! It was expert advice that my sister agreed with 100%. She runs a hardware store so sells lots of paint. Ha! The 80 yr old Drunk Demented Dumbarse just fessed he didn’t really need to ask Frodo the Dodo (who isn’t even a painter ffs) anything 😂🤣😆

Nice to know that two knowledgeable people agreed. John clearly is an expert painter and decorator.

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 12:51pm:

Go change your overflowing colostomy bag Dumbarse Drunk. Snd FFS stop using it to spray paint your walls yellow!

Why would i have a colostomy bag? Only operation I ever had was the hip replacement.

Why did you want to steal Socks? You wouldn’t even be able to keep her in your HC flat!

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:02pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:50pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:35pm: Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:08pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:03pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:00pm: John gave me expert advice re paint colors. Should I paint my corrugated iron lean-to urine yellow? Nah paint it white. Expert advice from a mong to a drunk, It’s not even expert or advice. It’s the chit chat of 2 poofters at a hair dressing salon talking about the colours of their pubes! It was expert advice that my sister agreed with 100%. She runs a hardware store so sells lots of paint. Ha! The 80 yr old Drunk Demented Dumbarse just fessed he didn’t really need to ask Frodo the Dodo (who isn’t even a painter ffs) anything 😂🤣😆 Nice to know that two knowledgeable people agreed. John clearly is an expert painter and decorator.

You needed an expert to tell you not to paint your lean-to urine yellow ;)

I do not have a lean-to, Gordo the Dimwit! Is a lean-to what you live in???

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:15pm:

I do not have a lean-to, Gordo the Dimwit! Is a lean-to what you live in???

Call me a dimwit, but my PPOR is on a block about 1100m2 in one of the most expensive suburbs in Australia, I also have a semi IP in the same suburb.

I don't need post to an internet forum how to raise capital to do some basic repairs. :)

I see, so you live in a lean-to to a bigger house. No probs.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:24pm:

I see, so you live in a lean-to to a bigger house. No probs.

Are you drunk? You ripped thru your inheritance so fast you can't even afford to fix your roof :)

Maybe you should have bought some WOW shares so you at least make something back on all the money you spend on grog.

Is it a big lean-to, fit all your family OK?

Gordon wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:10pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 1:02pm: Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:50pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:35pm: Lisa Jones wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:08pm: Gordon wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:03pm: Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 12:00pm: John gave me expert advice re paint colors. Should I paint my corrugated iron lean-to urine yellow? Nah paint it white. Expert advice from a mong to a drunk, It’s not even expert or advice. It’s the chit chat of 2 poofters at a hair dressing salon talking about the colours of their pubes! It was expert advice that my sister agreed with 100%. She runs a hardware store so sells lots of paint. Ha! The 80 yr old Drunk Demented Dumbarse just fessed he didn’t really need to ask Frodo the Dodo (who isn’t even a painter ffs) anything 😂🤣😆 Nice to know that two knowledgeable people agreed. John clearly is an expert painter and decorator. You needed an expert to tell you not to paint your lean-to urine yellow ;)

Dumbarse Drunk needed a 5 Foot Frodo The Dodo to tell him to spray paint the old lean to with yellow. To save money - his colostomy bag provided the necessary urine yellow colour he needed. 😂🤣😆

Gordon wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:29pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 1:24pm: I see, so you live in a lean-to to a bigger house. No probs. Are you drunk? You ripped thru your inheritance so fast you can't even afford to fix your roof :) Maybe you should have bought some WOW shares so you at least make something back on all the money you spend on grog.

I’ve given the Dumbarse Drunk the best advice ever 👇

Why don’t you pretend to make lots of Christmas cakes with 20 eggs in each cake and get prospective gullible recipients to deposit $60 directly into your bank account before you pretend to start making their cakes?

THEN pretend to send them their cakes or even the return of their $60.

$60 x 200 gullible victims = $12 000

I always try to follow the advice of experts, not that of the druggos Larry & Gordo. No wonder Gordo has to live in a lean-to and Larry has to rent a HC flat.

Larry, sorry but you may be an expert on drug use but I would never, ever take your advice on anything serious!

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:37pm:

I always try to follow the advice of experts, not that of the druggos Larry & Gordo. No wonder Gordo has to live in a lean-to and Larry has to rent a HC flat.

Drunk, you're the one posting that you don't have enough money to fix your roof because your drank your inheritance.

What is it like living in a lean-to? Get a bit crowded?

I never said I couldn’t afford it, I just listed it as a big ticket item to be done. Did you pass grade 3 reading & comprehension, Gordo?

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:45pm:

I never said I couldn’t afford it, I just listed it as a big ticket item to be done. Did you pass grade 3 reading & comprehension, Gordo?

You're too drunk to remember your OP.
You don't have enough money to do basic repairs and you're too old to get a mortgage.

I have the money for the basic stuff, including the roof.

Kitchen and bathroom remodels cost $$$. Living in a lean-to you probably don’t realise that.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 1:44pm:

What is it like living in a lean-to? Get a bit crowded?

👆 Monk chatting to himself again 😂🤣😆

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 2:28pm:

I have the money for the basic stuff..

Basic stuff 👉 Alcohol 🍺 🍷

Gordon wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 2:04pm:

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 1:45pm: I never said I couldn’t afford it, I just listed it as a big ticket item to be done. Did you pass grade 3 reading & comprehension, Gordo? You're too drunk to remember your OP.

To be fair to Dumbarse Drunk ... it’s mainly dementia driven.

Fencing and roofing. If you had your own house you would realise these are real costs.

A real estate agent told me that the best way to increase a rental or house value
was to add another bathroom and bedroom.
By bathroom he meant a walk in shower, basin and toilet.

Bobby. wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 4:48pm:

A real estate agent told me that the best way to increase a rental or house value was to add another bathroom and bedroom. By bathroom he meant a walk in shower, basin and toilet.

That is not what I am talking about, idiot.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 4:54pm:

Bobby. wrote on Sep 22nd, 2023 at 4:48pm: A real estate agent told me that the best way to increase a rental or house value was to add another bathroom and bedroom. By bathroom he meant a walk in shower, basin and toilet. That is not what I am talking about, idiot.

ASPD.

See who is talking.

But, no, it was just a statement of fact: you clearly are an idiot.

Jovial Monk wrote on Sep 22^nd, 2023 at 5:16pm:

See who is talking. But, no, it was just a statement of fact: you clearly are an idiot.

ASPD.

YOU—thief, blackmailer, troll, doxxer have extreme ASPD.

I am just making a statement of fact.