Hi everyone..
a topic started by me..
The topic was why dont men express feelings?
That feelings inside men are very rarely resolved due to the societal pressures placed on men to be
"macho"..have a
steely reserve if you like..to be
man like and never show any softness for fear of appearing
weak in the eyers of other men and women too.
I say its not healthy, that men need to learn that stress and anger are directly related to health problems and could be the reason women outlive men.
Men mostly die of cancers, heart attacks, stroke, suicide etc.
Why heck most men think going to the Doctor is weak.
below is a partial post of mine and then followed by a guys opinion.
so where does the pain go if its not expressed?
It stays within and will result in failed and dysfunctiional relationships- suicide for some men and deep unhappiness for others.
Every feeling has to be acknowledged and expressed or it will turn inward and begin to destroy us, little by little --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
guys answer
Not true. Despite their fabled ability to express their feelings, women have not proven to be better able to resolve their issues than men. That's because whether you openly express your feelings or not, you still have to resolve them. It's those unresolved issues that stay trapped inside.
Men do acknowledge their feelings. To themselves. We have different coping mechanisms from women. That's all. We internalize stuff. We deal with them. And we move on. Because we have to.
Just because we no longer live in caves does not mean that we have changed all that much evolutionarily and genetically speaking. Basically, if a man broke down every time a woman rejected him, he lost a family member or the antelope got away during the hunt, the species would have died out long ago. It's something that's hard-wired and socially reinforced.
The thing to remember is that humans were meant to be a two-gendered species. Each gender has its own roles and its own traits. Men are not dysfunctional women. We're just different. We do things differently. And maybe our way wouldn't work for you, but it works for us.
Of course, that doesn't mean that men should not try to be better at expressing their feelings. Or that women should not try to be better at containing their feelings. It just means that it's not our natural tendencies.
its clear men do experience and feel these
quote:
"Men die younger than women on average. The reason could be right here."
Again, not true. The reason women have had a historically higher life expectancy is that men have had historically higher risk factors. But now that there are more women driving, working, drinking, smoking, in military service, etc., the life expectancy gap is narrowing.
Women are more likely to report depression. Women are more likely to commit suicide. So what does that say about openly expressing your feelings all the time? Again, probably nothing. But one could make the same argument...
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