Do men tend to dominate women in relationships? Is this the "natural order"? How can they and we avoid it? Does it matter? Is there a place for dominance at times? Should women be dominant at times?

Seems to mainly be one person who dominates. decisions are made more effective that way.
Long as the dominant one is considerate to the other one, should be ok ?

Problem is where the dominant ones is inconsiderate.
hard to be assertive when the other person is overly dominant.
Most common dominant behaviour I see is verballing the other person.

Here is something I found interesting. Some of my ex-girlfriends seem to have a rape fantasy with me. Not that I am the rapist in the fantasy -- it's them. Sometimes it is a matter of them wanting to have me in bed role play being a victim of rape. One liked it when I pretended to be asleep whilst she had sex with me. Another liked it when I acted like I was being raped by her -- complete with me begging for mercy, etc. Then there was one that did not want me touching her while she had sex with me. But then, she got really wild when I pretended to be really submissive.

I think the first one was having issues with her controlling ex-boyfriend and wanted to fantasize about having things her way. The second one was probably abused as a teenager, and wants to re-establish control. The third one I can't really understand. Possibly just another "boss" type.

Other girlfriends I have had do not like it when I act submissive, with one not wanting to have sex with me in any other position other than missionary. But there are a few that have gone so far as to practically rape me. I don't know what it is. Normally, it's a good night of sex for those that I do bond well.

Do other females have this domination being the "female rapist" fantasy?

you have to look at evolutionary pressure and the reptilian brain to understand these things.

evolutionary pressure is about passing on your DNA.

a woman can only have a limited number of children .
and she wants the best chance for them to survive in the environment.

for 1000's of generations the environment was pretty harsh.

a woman (or the groups of women) would sit back at the village and then the men would come back with the booty from the hunt.

now , back comes the best hunter, strong powerful , successful...a "winner" .  the women want the sperm from this guy, its going to give their offspring the best chance of survival.

women dont want to win, they want to be with a winner...i tell you guys this all the time.

back comes "steve".  steve isnt fat in the old days, he's just really meek , but really really nice. steve comes back with some berries and leaves . he is the "provider male".
he offers the woman fidelity, he will never cheat, he will try to provide for her as best he can.

Does she want the sperm of steve.

No she doesnt

but after she has secured the sperm of the best hunter, she might be happy to settle down with steve as the best hunter is not going to be as loyal to her as steve.

But there will always be that "reptilian brain" telling her to get with the winner, champ, dominator guy who is crushing it in life even if he isnt faithful.

when she goes to vegas with the girls and she meets some guy who is just so entitled, so self confident, so buzzed off his own vibe, she will find it very hard to resist him.

look at all the cheering women watching "ninja warrior".
see how it completely outrated "master chef " .

ninja warrior = the sperm of the dominator .
matt preston and the crew on masterchef = total beta male provider males.

yes , women do want to be dominated
yes, they do want to be led.
yes, they do want to feel comfort with a guy who "takes charge".

deny it all you want, (hollywood certainly does) and our male presenters from Karl stefanovic to grant denyer are total beta males...but the facts clearly speak for themselves.

oh and the "rape fantasy".

women do NOT have fantasies about being raped by some gimp in a ski mask.
usually it about them having the power over a male.
the typical fantasy would be of some well groomed guy on the bus who they really fancy and the fantasy is that they (the woman that is) is so sexy, her sexuality overpowers him so much, that he just has to scoop her up and have his way with her. its about her femininity overpowering him...a very different scenario from the ski mask 

Jovial Monk wrote on Jul 26^th, 2017 at 8:43am:



monk, you are very "reactive".
thats the female role in an interaction.

the male energy (in this case we are discussing domination) is to go out there and "penetrate the world".

being reactive and always being at the "effect" and never at the "cause" is very very submissive behaviour.

you dont have a strong sense of direction and so you just get sucked into other peoples "frames".

try going out there and being a man of "action" not 'reaction"

I'm the dominant one in my relationship and i have my wifes permission to be so. 

Not so much “reactive” as “bored shitless.”

It is crap. Crap you got out of a self help book instead of reading some real psychology and sociology.

And every single post you make is designed to make you look great. You must have serious insecurity problems.

Forget stupid self help books: they help the authors more than the readers, easy way to make $$$