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Love without contact (Read 9381 times)
easel
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Love without contact
Oct 24th, 2008 at 12:21am
 
Do you think it is possible to fall in love one time, ignore the feelings and push them away, only to a few years later reexamine that point in your life and have strong feelings come back and head off in to love land? A place where you constantly think about someone you havent seen or spoken to for more than two years in a strongly affectionate and emotional way?
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I am from a foreign government. This is not a joke. I am authorised to investigate state and federal bodies including ASIO.
 
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Grendel
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #1 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 6:18am
 
Don't see why not.  It's not totally rational though.

But then love isn't rational.

Love is not sex.
Physical desire is not love.
Lust has many partners but Love has only room for one.
It is demanding giving obsessive committed.

So this being a truth why shouldn't it be possible.
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mantra
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #2 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 6:27am
 
Quote:
Do you think it is possible to fall in love one time, ignore the feelings and push them away, only to a few years later reexamine that point in your life and have strong feelings come back and head off in to love land? A place where you constantly think about someone you havent seen or spoken to for more than two years in a strongly affectionate and emotional way?


That only happens when you're young and lonely.  What you need to do is think back and ask yourself why you pushed him/her away in the first place?

Thinking about or trying to rekindle that sort of "love" is masochism.  Trust your original gut instincts - they're usually right.

Quote:
Lust has many partners but Love has only room for one.
It is demanding giving obsessive committed.


That's very deep Grendel.  Why does Love have to be demanding or obsessive?  It's enough to send a philophobe scuttling back off to their cave.
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Grendel
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #3 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 6:59am
 
Sorry this'll be slightly off topic
Don't selective quote me mantra.  Sorry... don't ask questions about half a quote.

How old are you?

Never regretted a decision, never had other people interfere in your life?
When you get older maybe you'll understand then eh.

Love isn't all goodness and light either you know.... love can be unrequited...  here's a few quotes just for you.

Quote:
The path of true love never runs smooth.

The wounds of love can only be healed by the one who made them.

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.

It's like chain lightning, this love that I feel
Who knows where it strikes
Or when it will hit
How long it will last, or when it will quit

You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

True Love burns the brightest, But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.


Oh and BTW Philophobes are the cause of much unrequite.  And because it is so illogical, so opposite of clear thinking it is all the more painful.

Love

Love is the most powerful of all the emotions
Friend and enemy
It can leave you walking on air or drowning in the depths of desperation.
As easily as it can light up your soul, it can rip out your heart and leave it abandoned, alone, yet still pathetically beating on the ground.

Love is invisible.
You can’t see it coming, you can’t see it go.
It comes unannounced and unexpected.
When it leaves, it always leaves a mark.

It’s fickle and true.
Can colour your life rosy with the warmth of happiness or turn it blue with cold stark sad emptiness.
There is no halfway with love.
You either embrace it or you don’t.

Love can give you life, but love can also kill you.
Without a blink, without hesitation, it will strike like a blow from a blacksmiths hammer, on white hot iron.
It will reforge you.
The strong and malleable survive whilst the weak and fragile perish.

The most painful love is unrequited.
Sometimes it and the suffering it causes goes unnoticed.
Sometimes it leads to; scorn, rejection, disdain and ridicule.
This love is merciless.

Love is not sex.
Physical desire is not love.
Lust has many partners but Love has only room for one.
It is demanding giving obsessive committed.

easel...  of course you can still have feeling...  you can have them 16 years later...  a lifetime later.  age is no barrier either.  Us oldies still have feelings and can fall in love just as easily as anyone else.

If your feelings were love...  they will still be love.  And even if you have moved on from them and things have changed...  things can still affect you and feelings can still bubble to the surface from earlier times.

Women..  what would they know about love.
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« Last Edit: Oct 24th, 2008 at 7:16am by Grendel »  
 
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mantra
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #4 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 7:31am
 
Obviously I'm no spring chicken Grendel - but I'm not totally ignorant in matters of love.

My point was that perhaps love could flourish more if emotions such as demands and obsessiveness weren't so overpowering.  Of course I believe in give and take - and it is unfortunate for those who are in love when relationships aren't equal.

Don't blame the opposite sex for your woes.  We all need to work on ourselves as individuals continually.  If the person you love so much is wary - back off a little and give them some space and who knows - they might just start reaching out to you again.

Yes of course people can suffer long term over unrequited love - but in regard to my comments to Easel - perhaps people should,  when they're not feeling lonely - consider why they pushed the person away in the first place.

There could be other reasons apart from philophobia.





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Grendel
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #5 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 7:37am
 
Don't assume you know anything about my life mantra...  you have NO idea.

Oh and BTW you are the only one to bring up Philophobia...  seems you are confusing yourself.  And I wish you wouldn't talk about stuff you don't understand or make light of it.
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mantra
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #6 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 7:43am
 
You're defensiveness and conceit is incredible Grendel.  

How could I talk about someone else's emotions if I don't walk in their shoes?  

I was my giving my opinion on this subject which I am entitled to do.  If you think I'm making light of a serious subject - my apologies - I believe I gave a serious response.

As far as understanding goes - perhaps you are the one who doesn't understand - ever consider that?
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Grendel
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #7 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 7:48am
 
Of for God's sake...

cant you keep track of a simple conversation?

I think since I mentioned it you keep spouting Philophobia...  that's what I was talking about.  got nothing to do with easel or the topic.  YOU brought it up.

Understanding...  is not my problem.
(its just like being back on Cracker)  Roll Eyes
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« Last Edit: Oct 24th, 2008 at 8:00am by Grendel »  
 
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mantra
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #8 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 7:59am
 
Quote:
Understanding...  is not my problem.


Of course not.  
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mozzaok
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #9 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 8:05am
 
Backup Beo, being too defensive, can make you offensive.

You seem to be talking two very different types of love here.

Real love, and
Idealised love.

Real love is the bond you have which grows through a deeper and greater interpersonal experience with another human, and it is certainly limited if you cannot be with them, to have that interpersonal relationship, the good, with the bad.

Idealised love, well who has not experienced this, where our hopes and fantasies can run free with a purity that cannot be sullied by actual day to day minutiae?
Only trouble is that it is in our heads, beautiful and painful as it may seem, where your idealised vision never, farts, or screams vitriolic abuse in a moment of anger.
It takes a lot more guts to face a reality than to live in a fantasy.

Love, and by that I mean 'Real Love', can only have a chance to grow, if you have the guts to actually plant the seed and be prepared to nurture it, otherwise, just look at pictures of beautiful flowers and imagine that they are yours.
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OOPS!!! My Karma, ran over your Dogma!
 
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Grendel
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #10 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 8:05am
 
'bout time you admitted it...

They seek me and then draw me out.
They beguile me, and turn me around and about.
They plead, and I'm helpless to turn them away.
Their wishes, commands, that I gladly obey.

They shine with a passion, that comes from within.
Make me wish there was some way to make things begin.

Precious, but only a part of the whole.
They unburden the heart and they light up the soul.
Worth more than the stars that fill the night skies.
The belong only to you, your beautiful, dark eyes.

yes mantra...  I do understand.
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Grendel
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #11 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 8:10am
 
backup yourself Mozz...  tell mantra to backoff.. and stop being a pratt.

I'm just answering her assertions.

Mind you they are as usual for mantra totally misdirected.

Nice to see you have love so economically comparmentalised.  Grin

There is LOVE and then there are pale comparisons and frauds.  None of which are TRUE LOVE.
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mantra
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #12 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 8:19am
 
Quote:
backup yourself Mozz...  tell mantra to backoff.. and stop being a pratt.

I'm just answering her assertions.

Mind you they are as usual for mantra totally misdirected.

Nice to see you have love so economically comparmentalised. 



Good thing you still have a sense of humour Grendel.  Look it's true - I do make light of this subject because we often have to for sanity's sake. We all have individual experiences which affect us and change our lives.

If you wrote the poetry - it's lovely & that is a sincere comment.
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Sprintcyclist
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #13 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 8:20am
 
mantra - as per usual a good reply from you.

easel - I agree with mantra.
emotional memories can be VERY strong.
Always worthwhile to check them out, but be a bit cautious. the other person may not feel the same as you do/did.

Good luck
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mozzaok
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Re: Love without contact
Reply #14 - Oct 24th, 2008 at 8:32am
 
Also Beo, we have another love.
Tough Love.

So with no malice or anything but hopes for your success in this area, I tell you to go for it, or let it go, because few things are sadder than living with what if's.

Faint heart, ne'er won, and all that!
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OOPS!!! My Karma, ran over your Dogma!
 
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