Rintrah
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Sydney
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I became an Atheist when i was nine years old, having been a nominal Christian in an agnostic family. I was fanatical about it, I was more of an anti-Theist than an atheist, my fanatacism revolving around a dramatic hatred of God rather than any logical objection beyond 'how can an all loving God cause suffering'.
In high school I was very lost (like most adolescents in this society). I was bright in school and good at my schoolwork, but outside of school I became associated with gangsters, and involved in those things that gangsters do. After a number of traumatic events occured around that, I began to remove myself from such situations.
I did not believe at that time that I would live to see 21, but I had no fear of death, and I was still a fanatical atheist. I started dating a girl who was a Christian, and found that my Richard Dawkins style arrogant atheism did not serve me in relationships with real people. Her faith was not reallly that developed, but it was a source of strength rather than the crutch of ignorance I had viewed it as. I also began reading more and more philosophy and began to view myself as an agnostic.
I graduated high school and, having stopped being assosciated with gangsters I began to look for ways to repair the damage I had done to society. I began to study social work at uni. This in turn put me into contact with many people who had been through the most horrific experiences. I became increasingly confused at the nature of the world, agnosticism and philosophy provided inadequate answers for me.
So I went searching for answers. I looked briefly into Christianity, but I still had the same issues, the trinity was illogical, their conception of God seemingly so limited. I looked at Buddhism and found it disempowering and in some cases exploitative. I had a strong sense of both social justice and a broadly developed concept of feminism, and the things I saw in all the other faiths in one way or another contradicted these ethics.
I had a conception of Islam historically, having touched briefly on it as a historical trend in my historical studies. My Mum, who is the dean of arts of a major Australian University, went to a conference where she came into contact with a number of Muslim women who she talked to about the religion. When she returned she told me that if 'i ever converted to a religion, she would want it to be Islam' because of the theological feminism that exists within it.
I had never considered Islam before, not because I had some prejudiced assumptions about it (my historical studies of actual sources rather than biased books had led to this), but because I didn't know any Muslims.
I was working at a bookstore at the time, and I bought a copy of the Holy Qu'ran. I found it inpenetrable at first, but I didn't want to dismiss it at that, so I sought out Muslims. Through a sister in my course I met a brother who said he would talk to me about it. I sat down with him and asked him questions and all his answers were satisfactory. God was not some limited anthropomorphic being. The Islamic system had introduced social welfare hundreds of years ahead of Europe, had rules of warfare far before the Geneva convention. Women had access to divorce, pre nuptial agreements and child support at a time when Europeans were arguing over whether or not women even had souls. Islam was anti-racist, logical and completely in line with most of my pre existing ethics.
So I decided that I would look into it more. I chose to fast ramadan, and if it was made easy upon me then I would take it as another reason for conversion. I began to go to classes with a Sheikh who was an American convert who had 10 years of study behind him. He was a scifi nerd just like me and was the most down to earth and well mannered person I think I had ever met.
I went to two weeks of ramadan classes... and could not find any flaws in what was taught. It became a choice, believe or not believe.. once I had chosen to believe, the most logical religion was Islam.. I sat down with the Sheikhs, asked a bunch of questions, all of which he answered flawlessly. Then at 20 I took Shahada. Alhamdulillah.
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