Grendel
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Atheists pick on God November 2, 2008
They believe God is a figment of the human imagination, much like the T-Card, writes Simon Webster. (SMH) LONDON buses will carry the slogan "There's probably no God" next year, in a campaign paid for by an atheist organisation. Transport chiefs say it would never work in Sydney, where commuters wait at bus stops for so long that they eventually die and go to heaven, where God tells them: "There's probably no bus."
The British Humanist Association and prominent atheist Professor Richard Dawkins, author of The God Delusion, are paying for the ads. They believe God is nothing but a figment of the human imagination, much like the T-Card and the North West Rail Link.
The news comes at a time when record numbers of Sydneysiders say they have lost their faith: despite all the promises of a second coming, there never will be an extension to the light rail network.
Premier Nathan Rees has called on them to find it again quickly: if Sydney Ferries is privatised it may be necessary for commuters on the less popular routes to learn to walk on water.
In London, the Humanist Association aims to have 30 bendy-buses sporting the anti-God slogan for four weeks from January. The association will hope the poster isn't pasted over the bendy bit, otherwise when the buses go around corners the signs will read "The lyno God" and make commuters think they are ads for kitchen floor coverings.
This would be counterproductive, as a Saturday afternoon spent shopping for kitchen floor coverings is acknowledged by most theologians to be the closest thing on Earth to eternity in the fiery pits of hell, and the whole point of the ad campaign is to stop people fretting about such things.
The full message reads: "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."
This will no doubt be confronting for religious commuters. However, the association insisted it was not being mean. It also denied having anything to do with a recent spate of attacks in which miniature children's trains were sprayed with the words: "There's probably no Santa. Get over it."
"Religion is accustomed to getting a free ride - automatic tax breaks, unearned respect and the right not to be offended, the right to brainwash children," Dawkins said.
"Even on the buses, nobody thinks twice when they see a religious slogan plastered across the side. This campaign to put alternative slogans on London buses will make people think - and thinking is anathema to religion."
Outraged Christians insisted they thought frequently - usually to come up with catchy slogans for the outside of churches, such as "Sign broken - message inside this Sunday" and "Read your Bible - it will scare the hell out of you."
A similar sentiment sparked the campaign when journalist Ariane Sherine wrote a column in The Guardian in June after taking offence at a Christian bus advertisement.
The ad promoted a website in which non-believers were warned they would be tickled by demons with feather dusters - or something equally diabolical - until the end of time unless they accepted Jesus.
Sherine called on readers to donate £5 each for an atheist bus ad. Almost 900 people signed up. The campaign was relaunched last month with the support of Dawkins, and raised £48,000 - almost 10 times what was needed - in the first 24 hours.
Reports that atheists had given up their life savings and run away to live in the Humanist Association's secret headquarters, where Dawkins constantly reminds his followers that he has no idea when the world will end, could not be confirmed.
A Church of England spokesman told The Guardian that seven in 10 Britons described themselves as Christian (at least in his congregation) and understood the joy that faith could bring.
"Christian belief is not about worrying or not enjoying life," he said. "Quite the opposite: our faith liberates us to put this life into a proper perspective."
He said he would pray for Sydney transport.
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