Islam is boring
by Mary Jackson


It’s dull, dull, dull. My God it’s dull. It’s so desperately dull and tedious and boring and unimaginative and irrepressibly drab and awful and desp-er-ate-ly dull.


Python's Michael Palin was talking about accountancy, but he could just as easily have been talking about Islam. And accountancy is not violent or dangerous, although there have been heated arguments over cash flow hedges and calculators at dawn over embedded derivatives.


Islam is like global warming. It’s very boring but very important. It would be better if the important things were interesting, so we would all take notice of them.


Why is Islam so dull? There are a number of reasons.


Dull things feed off themselves. Writers who review other writers’ books – favourably for fear of a bad review in revenge – end up dull, even if they start out interesting. Television programmes about television are usually dull. Actors are dull when they talk about acting.


The purpose of Islam is Islam – the spread of Islam, the subjugation and destruction of all things non-Islamic. There is nothing else to Islam. It feeds off itself and reproduces itself. Just as a human being would, without challenges, Islam becomes tyrannical – and dull.


Allah, in Islam, created man to be his slave, with no thoughts, initiative or ideas of his own, and in consequence no morality, for morality is only possible if one can choose between right and wrong. As well as being tyrannical and cruel, this is tedious. There is none of the debate that the Judeo-Christian God has, for example with Job, because the perfect Muslim is not autonomous: he is an automaton.


Islam’s rules are quite arbitrary. Muslims are enjoined to put their right shoe on first, but it could just as easily be their left. The rules are arbitrary because Allah is arbitrary. He can make anything happen, and change his laws at will. This makes Allah terrifying, but boring at the same time. Any child knows that a story without rules would be tedious. The rules are different from the rules we have in real life, but there must be internal consistency. And games without rules would be pointless; nobody would pay to watch two top-class tennis players hit the ball into the net and call it a goal.


There are many other reasons why Islam is boring, but I can’t be bothered thinking about them, as I have a freshly painted wall to observe drying. The problem is that we are obliged to think about Islam because, although it is boring, it threatens everything that isn’t boring: art, music, cathedrals, literature, jokes, dogs, love, perfume, bacon, statues, science, wine, beer, Catherine Tate, limericks, films, plays, democracy and Spinal Tap.


How can something as boring, stupid and pointless as Islam destroy something as great as Western Civilisation?


It happens. Think of friends or relations you have known, lively interesting people, who acquire dull wives or husbands. Nine times out of ten, the dullness prevails. A late relative of mine used to remark when two boring or nasty people got together: “Well, at least they won’t spoil another couple.” People level down more than they level up. Something as dreary and nasty as Islam will drag us down to its level rather than allow us to change it for the better. That's the way it goes.


Anyway, I’m bored with Islam, so that’s it for now.



10/10

I must admit, it is hard to know whether to be revolted or bored, so hideous and monotonous are the public, political manifestations of Islam.

Is God fooled by our deceptions?

Luke 12:1
In the mean time, when there were gathered together an innumerable multitude of people, insomuch that they trode one upon another, he began to say unto his disciples first of all, Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.
2  For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.
3  Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.



Isaiah 29:13
Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:
14  Therefore, behold, I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder: for the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the understanding of their prudent men shall be hid.
15  Woe unto them that seek deep to hide their counsel from the LORD, and their works are in the dark, and they say, Who seeth us? and who knoweth us?

Oh come now - just like those crazy Hari Krishnas, some regional Catholic practices and the crazy antics of the Mormons, Islam has its eccentric moments. Tourists really like this sort of thing.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJIofU-0jC0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzkpuztoJiA

Personally I find religions to be very 'interesting'. I also find it interesting how the followers of one religion are capable of doing all manner of silly things, but they are blind to it. Of course they can see the absurdity in other religions. I won't mention John Safran's crucifixion in the Phillippines. That was just plain silly.

I often wonder why it doesn't just click with them - but then I'm non-religious and I accept that I will never really understand.

abu_rashid wrote on Sep 30^th, 2009 at 9:08am:



No, the point is that even half-educated Muslims have heard of Homer, Plato, Aristotle, Shakespeare, Mozart, Beethoven, Hemmingway, Michelangelo, da Vinci, Dante, Balzac, Tolstoy, Einstein, Freud, Camus, Voltaire, Hegel, Hume, and the rest.
Not even well-educated westerners can name notable muslims beyond perhaps Naguib Mahfouz and Avicenna and Averroes. All the glorious Muslim achievers are obscure because they are insignificant beyond their small cultural sphere.

The western notables are notable not because of some insidious western propaganda or because of colonialism but because they are genuinely great and significant. ANd that is because of their universally recognised contribution to their field.

That's the diff.

abu_rashid wrote on Sep 30^th, 2009 at 10:54am:

We've dealt with this particular delusion of yours many times already. Your repeating it does not make it any less silly.

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Ah, so these are household names in Latin America, black Africa, East and South East Ais and only the west is ignorant of them.


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So even though the west has been globally unrivalled since it stopped the westward spread of islam, that's just being a cultural blow-in.

I am fascinated by your intellectual pathologies.

Being embraced for a decade or three by faddish counter-cultural types in the 30s or 60s is not exactly the literary influence that matters.

At any rate, I don't think he is read in the maddrasses of the Hindu Kush or Riyadh, even as he is held up by Abu as a great sign of their supposedly lasting and influntial culture. Those guys have no use for chick magnet literature, you see.

I also doubt that not reading his leaves as big a mental gap as, say, Shakespare, Goethe, Dante, Homer, or even Baudelaire or Pushkin - and that's just the poets.

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Just as I'm sure half of those you mentioned are not the staple in Sunday schools in the Bible belt of America... And?