The worm is a moron. The Channel Nine host Tracy Grimshaw ought to apply an IQ test to her audience of "undecided" voters before she gives them a licence to press buttons. Since they were paid $50 each, you'd have thought the "wormologists" would pay attention during the leaders' health debate at the National Press Club. Instead, their combined wisdom produced the sort of reflex reactions you might see from a slobbering toddler.

Every time the Prime Minister made some motherhood statement - even literally, as in "My mum was a nurse, my sister is still a nurse, my sister-in-law is a nurse'' - the worm soared into positive territory.

The wiggling line across the bottom of the screen reacted the same way to all Kevin Rudd's sunny platitudes: "more beds", ''little one'', ''country hospitals'', ''join with us in the positive", ''the public system has got sick. We have to stop it falling over''.

"It's time for action, not finger-pointing" didn't score a cynical snort, but a worm in ecstasy. When Rudd beamed, the worm jumped, even when the smile had nothing to do with his words. The more he waffled, the higher the worm flew. When he stood up at the end, it leapt for joy.

But when the Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, appeared on screen, the worm plunged. The more he talked, the lower the worm fell. And when he talked of pink batts, school halls, "rip-off after rip-off","waffle", ''amateur-hour experimentation", "anyone can list problems; the hard part is solving them", the worm maintained a sullen decline, exposing a group mindset clinging to utopian fantasy rather than facing the reality of the limitations of government...........

They know because Miranda Divine said so. What do you expect?

If the worm had "favoured" Abbott, she'd be saying it represents the will of the people.