gold_medal wrote on Aug 12
th, 2012 at 8:48am:
Mandatory reporting has its problems as well. Its not as simple as requiring everyone to report SUSPECTED abuse everytim they THINK it is happening. You create an environment of accusation and innuendo. And in the end, the stats show that it really doesnt make anything any better. The real abuse was getting reported before and still is while the suspcision simply clog up the system and create anger among parents and teachers.
My toddler son dislocated and elbow and broke a leg in consecutive weeks thru accident. Mandatory Reporting required that it be reported as possible child abuse. IMagine how many young children injure themselves twice in a short space of time and the wasted effort in investigating.
Yeah, who knows? It could just be a prank. It's like calling 000 and telling a fake story. It's like calling someone up and saying, "is your dishwasher running, because if it is, you better go catch it!!!!"
Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Aug 12
th, 2012 at 9:24am:
Yeah red, children are vulnerable, that's why they are targeted by vultures. We really need to protect them much better than we have been. We have to be forever vigilant in checking where they are and who else is there when they're out of our care.
Sleepovers were my biggest dread when my kids were young, you never know who's visiting the house.
The person who looks so innocent, can be the evil child molester.
This reminds me of Michael Jackson.
Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Aug 12
th, 2012 at 9:50am:
Sexual abuse of children was rife and was never talked about, mainly because the victim was made to feel like they were in the wrong, usually getting a beating for telling lies.
Has anything changed with the numbers falling or rising?
I wouldn't have a clue because like back then, it seems that it's still just as hard for children to tell someone that they have been abused.
Sometimes it seems like almost everyone was confronted by some sort of sexual abuse.
This got me thinking. Yes, there is the possibility that the victim blames themselves for what happened, that nobody would believe them.
But .......... what if the thing that happened to some of these people wasn't sexual abuse, but rather just normal bullying and harassment. Also, what if there was no "abuse," bullying and harassment at all, but rather the person just felt hurt by something that happened, felt shy and embarrassed and calling it "sexual abuse" is the only way of dealing with it. The "perpetrator" may not have intended to inflict pain. The pain is real, but the term "sexual abuse" may be inaccurate.
I am in no way saying that these people are not "victims" and/or that they didn't suffer any pain, but that not all who report sexual abuse may have been victims of sexual abuse but something else, some other traumatic incident that involves the said "perpetrator." The incident may be so complex that calling it "sexual abuse" is just a way of simplifying things. The term "sexual abuse" is used because the hurt and shame that came from what happened is just as strong and painful as it would be if the person had really be sexually abused, making it equivalent.
One thing that many these "abuse" incidents have in common would be the "perpetrator's" position of power. These people may not have been sexually abused, but the incident they identify as sexual abuse is hurtful and shameful enough that it becomes equal to sexual abuse. They felt violated by someone in a position of power, and it felt like rape even if it wasn't literally sexual.
For example, if a teacher looks at a girl's breasts in a private place, ogles her and makes an out-of-character and un-teacher-like comment like, "you're the kind of girl I'd be banging if I could have what I wanted," a shy girl would feel really embarrassed, violated and hurt.
.......... maybe a girl trips over and her skirt flies up revealing more of her legs and a teacher says, "oh wow, what nice legs you have" or "oooo la la I wanna bugger you" and the girl goes red in the cheeks.
.......... or maybe a teacher makes fun of a shy boy for acting like he's homosexual. You know how being homosexual isn't considered "normal" or "cool" so it would be humiliating .......... or a teacher calls a boy a "girl." Some boys don't like being called girls.
......... or some other innuendo.
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