English as the official language of Europe… (PG)

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt

English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was

the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some

room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as

EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first
year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this

news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up

konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will

be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage

where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double

letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the

horible mes of silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by

"v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "0" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and

similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas…

BatteriesNotIncluded wrote on Oct 19^th, 2012 at 12:34pm:


Thanks mate...not mine but heh this place is in bad need of a funny bone lately.....