Excuse me, leftards, your day is done. When Mr Abbott gets in, Matty will return and wipe the floor with you people.

You won’t have your beloved JuLiar to cry over anymore! We have the chaff bag all ready to go.

Who knows? She might end up on a desert island somewhere. If you leftards want to contact her, you’ll have to put your message in a bottle, throw it in the direction of the chaff bag and hope the tides are working in your favour.

You might get a reply in the next 20 years - if you’re lucky.

Mr Abbott will still be in power then.