... on average. However, according to reports just in, no fewer than 25% of Australian pensioners are living in poverty, at least 7% are totally unemployed, and depending on who you listen to, anywhere from around 20-40% are not in regular paid income, and 100,000 Australians live on the streets while countless others struggle in desperation as the 'working poor' with diminishing prospects of future jobs should they fall out of the tree for any reason.
Inside sources, which can not be named for illegal reasons, say that the government is considering a whole new raft of legislation to cut back in advance on the expected crime epidemic , which is expected to arise suddenly for no reason other than those useless mouths are all criminals. Measures under consideration are the automatic jailing for twenty-five years for Nostart recipients as members of outlaw dolebludgers gangs, and the deportation of pensioners to Manus Island, a holiday resort in the Pacific.
In breaking news, a meeting of the Disgruntled Australians Association (DAA) has been canceled due to their inability to raise the cash to pay for hire of the hall.
Meanwhile, on a lighter note, Ivor Moneypot, financier and mining magnate, has just purchased five new homes complete with race tracks for his thoroughbred stable, estimated in the billions...... among his guests at his latest series of housewarmings internationally are numerous politicians and their families on their way to weddings and iron man events.
On the political scene, A man named Vanstone, currently chairing the Economic Star Chamber of Unelected Swill Extraordinary (ESCUSE), is expected to hand down Diktats shortly on how Australia needs to cut out those dole bludgers, reduce spending on useless mouths, and reduce those overpaid pensioners under penury and servitude, while opening up the mining sector for eight of the big end mates by dropping all taxes against them and providing unlimited opportunities for their gaining mining and exploration leases well in advance of any project through the intermediaries of politician friends.
Meanwhile in the mining sector, the slump continues to grow, with many workers facing poverty and lack of jobs despite their overwhelming qualifications and experience. Sources in Canberra say this has nothing to do with 457 Visas, and is entirely the fault of those workers who put their Unions and their rights and work standards before their jobs.
In a startling revelation today, Learned Professor Thaddeus Grimoire of Grappler University has come out with the statement that Unbalanced Prosperity created by too much money in the hands of too few while the rest eat cake does not mean a country is prosperous. Treasury officials are said to have rejected this concept and Reverse Bank Chief Rob Thertill said, at a Yarrowlumla ball, that a consultative group would be set up at public expense to consider the issues involved for the next ten years.
That's our news roundup from KRUD News Network today.. good morning and good night......
If this is Prosperityville, I'd hate to see the rest of the world. My recent neighbours, a fine young couple, have just left for Canada. He is a fishing boat skipper etc, and can't find a job other than pulling beer five hours a week at the club. He is going working on the fishing boats to earn some MONEY - something not readily available here unless you are in the right track.
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