THE cats are back on top of the ladder. No, not the Tom Hawkins variety, but the big wild ones supposedly roaming country Victoria. They have climbed back up the ladder of government priorities after a mid-season rejection.
That is, the Victorian Government has launched an investigation into whether the mythical big cats exist.
It's an issue that arouses much excitement in country Victoria, with everyone knowing someone who reckons they have seen a big cat.
There have been reported sightings for more than 60 years across the length and breadth of the state, with particular focus on the Grampians and the Gippsland high country.
Legend abounds as to why the big cats -- usually black -- could be out there.
They include the popular theory
US servicemen in Australia during World War II had black panthers as mascots of their squadrons. With the war over, they released the panthers before heading home.
(The mind boggles as to how they would have got them here in the first place.)And then there are tales of cats escaping from zoos, and the most popular theory that domestic cats have developed into super creatures over many generations, killing bigger and bigger wildlife and livestock to survive.
Whatever the origin, there have been enough "sightings" of big cats for Nationals leader Peter Ryan -- then in opposition -- to boldly declare the Coalition would launch an investigation into the existence of the big cats if it won government.
Not quite on the scale of making Victorian teachers the best-paid in the nation, but a promise nonetheless.
Of course, those promises can come back to bite you when you actually win government -- as Ryan and Premier Ted Baillieu know full well.
But, while the teachers' pay promise stole the limelight, the big-cat investigation languished in the bottom draw.
So dead was the big-cat issue, the Government actually declared a month or so ago that the investigation would not go ahead.
But then, bizarrely, Agriculture Minister Peter Walsh has announced the investigation will go ahead.
Bizarrely, because
his department has been hit by job cuts and office closures, so you would think this would hardly be a priority.
But Mr Walsh said he had "sufficient departmental resources available" to don the pith helmets and head off on a Burke-and-Wills-type expedition.
Unfortunately, it's not nearly so exciting.
"The study will review existing literature, reports, correspondence and other evidence for the presence of big cats in Victoria, and it includes liaison with relevant community groups and individuals who have reports or records of possible sightings," he told The Weekly Times.
Alas, Peter Ryan won't be leading an expedition into the high country. There'll be no LandCruisers getting bogged, no machetes hacking through thick undergrowth and no tins of baked beans exploding in the campfire.
Just some pen-pushers looking at grainy photos and essays written by (very, very) enthusiastic big-cat experts.
Of course, the Opposition is having kittens (pun intended) over the
Government making big cats a priority in a time of austerity and budget cuts.
And you can imagine public servants who have lost their jobs greeting the news in wide-eyed amazement.
As for the investigation, there can only be one definite answer at the end of the inquiry.
It will either be "yes" big cats do exist in country Victoria. Or they don't know.
No amount of research will ever be able to completely discount they are out there.
The moment they do, someone will see another mysterious form run across a road near Jamieson and we'll be back to square one.
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