I am happy for you that your home is NOT a battleground, and you should rightly be happy about that.
But Lisa, your experience is not necessarily that of all 'homes'.

You seem to be somewhat oblivious to what is a harsh reality for many women and children.
To suggest that women 'should just get on with it',  is a bit like telling a severely depressed individual to 'just pull your socks up' and get on with it.

Really Lisa. This is not a choice for many, and your insensitivity to it is what led  me to think that you were really a male. You do not know what you are really saying do you.?  perhaps thats why so many other females find you offensive. 

Good luck to you, but don't think everybody else is in the same position as your professed cosy happy family life.
That is just wearing blinkers.

Emma wrote on May 31^st, 2015 at 8:27pm:


No I am not saying that, you are projecting that onto that which I have said, seemingly in order to box me up as yet "another male who, by virtue of gender, must be the enemy"...

I imply nothing, I merely asked the question, what next after we remove the patriarchy - that his still not been explained, defined or clearly outlined apart from a wishy washy and, given human (not genderfied) nature an ill conceived idea of "I thought we would all just get along...."

At no time in history has "shared" leadership (this is ultimately what is being discussed isn't it?) been particularly successful, sustainable or fruitful over time. Perhaps in some short bursts, at best.

No I am not implying that Patriarchy is better by that, just to nip that "so what you are saying..." re-frame before your fingers run away with you...

So, at best an "..archy" isn't our best answer, however, as a species (not just a gender...) we seem to be too immature still to get past that.

"It is really is time to leave our animal selves behind and look to the greater good. !"

This comment appears to share common ground with your nemesis - the patriarchy...

That leaving our "animal" selves behind has been one of our biggest drivers as a species ever since we labelled ourselves the smartest animal, the top of the heap.

Perhaps we actually need to look back to nature at what we have left behind - some of it might have been useful (and not just for individuals or specific genders) but for our species.

Our culture has mostly been dominated by males, for an awfully long time - the harsh reality then, that is not going to change in a hurry realistically. However, to also be fair and honest, that has not occurred without females having been complicit. How ironic that men and women have actively worked together to, in effect, make women's lot a bit worse off.

That said, it is also worth acknowledging that there have been a few positive changes to how we do society that have made small steps to address this. For example, you have far more access to your own money than your Grandmother, hell, possibly even your Mother did. No, it hasn't fixed things yet - but improvement has happened.

This idea of "Men superior v Women inferior" is your problem, not mine. I reckon I have been clear about that, but maybe not clear enough for your liking - bummer.

Look at it this way (if you like)....

Person A excels at athletics, is extremely fit and flexible, yet almost illiterate.

Person B is articulate, creative and demonstrates excellent critical thinking skills.


Are these people equal?

If they are not equal, is one superior to the other?

Now, I know what I think about this, but I put this to you, tell me what you think please?

No need to tell me what I am thinking/saying/implying with this one at all really.

OK

we do seem to be saying pretty much the same thing.

Please believe me when I say that I don't see you as an enemy.
I am merely asking where you stand re 'equailty'. I still don't know. I guess it depends on your definition of equality.

To me.. all people are equal, regardless of their birth or gender. All people deserve justice and fair treatment. I believe it should not even be a MATTER FOR DISCUSSION, GIVEN TRUE JUSTICE ooops  for all people.

So I am an Idealist. I  still believe overall that humans want to help their fellows.
What IS sad is the role played by politics and power.

Which has obviously degraded our ethical selves to such a degree that common humanity and decent treatment ( see Australia's Camps for Refugees) is politically incorrect, here in Oz.  Our forebears will be turning in their graves.

Phemanderac wrote on May 30^th, 2015 at 9:42am:



I disagree Phem. We could not possibly replace a patriarchy with a matriarchy so that point is academic only.

I propose we as a society start to value the 'feminine' as much as we value the 'masculine'. This would include putting a more diverse group of women on television, for example. It would include equal opportunities for employment across all fields.

The problem we have is that we are dealing with set mind-sets. Education programs need to be implemented to counter these mind-sets.  The feminine needs to be encouraged in both genders and particularly in our children. We still hold on to very outdated philosophies such as 'boys don't cry' and 'boys don't play with dolls'. This needs to stop.

I'm not a fan of affirmative action in principle, but i resign myself to the reality that it is indeed what we need to begin to level out the playing field. More women and minorities need to be advanced through employment and placement opportunities. I hear the cries of men lambasting this as unfair ... but what is the alternative? We need to regain balance.

Furthermore we need to stand up against the backlash towards feminism. It is unfounded and propelled by a media that presents only the fanatical as the norm.

In short, we need to replace the patriarchy with equality. We need to expand our definition of what is worthy of success.

Lisa Jones wrote on Jun 1^st, 2015 at 1:26am:



Good grief!

I think that same sex marriage and the fuss being made over Bruce Jenner becoming Caitlyn Jenner advance the cause of equality.

We as a society are beginning to see things in ways other than those that polarise us.

We need to accept that gender occurs along a continuum ... but i've said that already, nothing new.

Phem, what i think you are struggling with is the very premise of modern feminism. It is not about men and women .. it is about the masculine and the feminine and what we as a society value.

Much of the sickness in our society comes from not valuing the feminine. We are not as caring and nurturing as we could and should be. We are not creative enough. We are more focused on the micro than the macro. We take problems in isolation and look for solutions to that problem, rather than looking at the whole of the issue and starting from the ground up. We are uni-focused and intent on dealing with the immediate, without thought to the wider implications.

We value strength and cunning over stamina and thoughtfulness.

The whole argument about the patriarchy comes down to societys values and what are they driven by? The media, money, power and success.

We have the opportunity as individuals to challenge that. The more of us who challenge it the better.

Agnes wrote on Jun 4^th, 2015 at 1:06am:




That's if she had someone to have sex with.

As it is, sh'e just talking out of her arse. And quite counter-productively too. Not that that's a new thing.