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Economics explained (Read 671 times)
Swagman
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Economics explained
Sep 3rd, 2014 at 8:57am
 
An oldie but a goodie   Smiley link

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows. They are both mad cows.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

TAIWANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You send a spy to Japan to try copy their high-tech chip milking strategy. It doesn't work so kill the cows and sell all the meat to be eaten at some Taipei night market. You produce thousands of fake Cowkimon merchandise and sell it at the above-mentioned night market.
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BatteriesNotIncluded
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people died for this!

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Re: Economics explained
Reply #1 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 2:26pm
 
How do you buy a  BULL FOR A COW?

Go traditional  Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes Roll Eyes
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*Sure....they're anti competitive as any subsidised job is.  It wouldn't be there without the tax payer.  Very damned difficult for a brainwashed collectivist to understand that I know....  (swaggy) *
 
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ImSpartacus2
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #2 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 3:01pm
 
That's the first I've seen that Swag.  Its funny, got a laugh from me, thanks.
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tickleandrose
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #3 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 3:14pm
 
Australian Economics

You had two cows.  You sold the cows for $20, and rent them back for $2 per year.  Then you claim that you made $18 surplus that year and congradulates yourself.   Smiley Smiley Smiley
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BatteriesNotIncluded
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #4 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 5:21pm
 
tickleandrose wrote on Sep 3rd, 2014 at 3:14pm:
Australian Economics

You had two cows.  You sold the cows for $20, and rent them back for $2 per year.  Then you claim that you made $18 surplus that year and congradulates yourself.   Smiley Smiley Smiley

You forgot to mention if the victim of said economic exchange was left wing or right wing... don't break up now speak up  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked LOUD AND PROUD IF YOU DARE  Cheesy

** I VOTE LIBERAL IN JULIE BISHOPS ELECTORATE AND BET ON THE DOGS WITH DAD YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  Shocked Shocked Shocked THEN GO HOME AND SMOKE CRACK IN THE SPARE RENTAL HE LETS ME PAY OFF WHEN THINGS  'WORK OUT NO QUESTIONS ASKED....'  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Roll Eyes'

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*Sure....they're anti competitive as any subsidised job is.  It wouldn't be there without the tax payer.  Very damned difficult for a brainwashed collectivist to understand that I know....  (swaggy) *
 
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BatteriesNotIncluded
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #5 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 5:28pm
 
.. OF COURSE, dad is in tears because he runs a real estate franchise and wishes one day his sons and daughters would realise what they are doing to him...
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*Sure....they're anti competitive as any subsidised job is.  It wouldn't be there without the tax payer.  Very damned difficult for a brainwashed collectivist to understand that I know....  (swaggy) *
 
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cods
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #6 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 5:41pm
 
Q: How has French Revolution affected world economic growth? A: Too early to say.


Q: Why did God create economists? A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.


A party of economists was climbing in the Alps. After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun.Finally he said, ‘OK see that big mountain over there?”Yes’, answered the others eagerly.’Well, according to the map, we’re standing on top of it.’
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Freedumb
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #7 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 5:58pm
 
Economics of the modern age for dummies:

money = debt = thin air = money
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Nothing would be what it is,
Because everything would be what it isn't.
And contrary-wise - what it is, it wouldn't be.
And what it wouldn't be, it would.
You see?

- Lewis Carroll
 
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BatteriesNotIncluded
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #8 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 6:08pm
 
money = debt = thin air = money = confidence yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy growth yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!
->>go the stockmarketed foreign invested governments of the 'liberal' world
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*Sure....they're anti competitive as any subsidised job is.  It wouldn't be there without the tax payer.  Very damned difficult for a brainwashed collectivist to understand that I know....  (swaggy) *
 
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BatteriesNotIncluded
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #9 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 6:08pm
 
what is an external cost?  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked
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*Sure....they're anti competitive as any subsidised job is.  It wouldn't be there without the tax payer.  Very damned difficult for a brainwashed collectivist to understand that I know....  (swaggy) *
 
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BatteriesNotIncluded
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people died for this!

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Re: Economics explained
Reply #10 - Sep 3rd, 2014 at 6:10pm
 
a cost benefit analysis is called for... diminishing returns is a concept that lasts forever... ooops  Embarrassed
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*Sure....they're anti competitive as any subsidised job is.  It wouldn't be there without the tax payer.  Very damned difficult for a brainwashed collectivist to understand that I know....  (swaggy) *
 
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Mnemonic
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #11 - Sep 13th, 2014 at 12:10am
 
tickleandrose wrote on Sep 3rd, 2014 at 3:14pm:
Australian Economics

You had two cows.  You sold the cows for $20, and rent them back for $2 per year.  Then you claim that you made $18 surplus that year and congradulates yourself.   Smiley Smiley Smiley


Australian Economics

You have two cows. Compared to the cows in other Western and developed countries (which were hit badly by the global financial crisis), they are fat and well fed but you are not satisfied. You go to an auction and get a home loan to buy that dream home for you and your cows. You send your cows to private school hoping that when they grow up, they'll be rich. You buy a car, laptop, tablet, smartphone and television set for every single family member. You go into debt to sustain this lifestyle and keep up with the Jones's. You complain about all the taxes you have to pay and how so much of your income goes into social security and health care. You grow old with few savings and very little in your superannuation fund. Your cows try to live the same lifestyle you did and as a result, they can't support you in your old age. You find yourself so financially helpless you need to apply for a pension from CentreLink. You are glad people pay their taxes. Cheesy The cycle repeats itself.
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Dnarever
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Re: Economics explained
Reply #12 - Sep 13th, 2014 at 10:01am
 
BatteriesNotIncluded wrote on Sep 3rd, 2014 at 5:21pm:
tickleandrose wrote on Sep 3rd, 2014 at 3:14pm:
Australian Economics

You had two cows.  You sold the cows for $20, and rent them back for $2 per year.  Then you claim that you made $18 surplus that year and congradulates yourself.   Smiley Smiley Smiley

You forgot to mention if the victim of said economic exchange was left wing or right wing... don't break up now speak up  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked LOUD AND PROUD IF YOU DARE  Cheesy

** I VOTE LIBERAL IN JULIE BISHOPS ELECTORATE AND BET ON THE DOGS WITH DAD YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  Shocked Shocked Shocked THEN GO HOME AND SMOKE CRACK IN THE SPARE RENTAL HE LETS ME PAY OFF WHEN THINGS  'WORK OUT NO QUESTIONS ASKED....'  Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Roll Eyes'



You forgot to mention if the victim of said economic exchange was left wing or right wing


I don't think it is political.

Had it been left wing they would have kept the cows and right wing they would have rented the cows back for $22 ?
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