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Phemanderac
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The term domestic violence (I think relationship violence might be far more apt) does not specifically just mean the act of physical violence....
That is an important point.
Further, the real issue around relationship violence is the underpinning exertion of power and control - in fact that is a great indicator.
So, whilst physical violence is in many ways the worst, it is certainly extremely dangerous, thing like withholding (Money, Affection, Access to religious support, medical support, children and/or animals), Threat and intimidation, Harm to animals, Forced sexual contact, verbal abuse, mental abuse, put downs etc etc etc (the list does actually go on....) all constitute Domestic (or Relationship) violence.
As such, whilst using physical violence in response to "nagging" is never an appropriate response, the act of nagging itself constitutes Relationship violence. If you are unable to negotiate to stop the nagging, report it.
The reason men are painted as the perpetrators consistently is the statistical reality of who reports being victimised. Now, I know most blokes are going to say things like "I am not going to go running to the cops because my wife nags me...." etc. In that case you have a couple of options - either the nagging is actually not all that bad and you might be able to work it out, or, you would rather wait until you lose your poo and hit someone... That will end up before the courts quite possibly and YOU will be the perp and not the victim, despite protestations saying otherwise.
Physical violence is NOT an appropriate response ever.
Counselling. Someone said counselling is suppose to save the marriage... That is so far from correct it would be funny if the subject matter was not so serious.
The role of counselling is to help deal with emotional upset, work through issues/problems so that one can make calmer, better informed decisions about their future. Sometimes, the best decision is actually to walk away from each other.
The role of counselling is to, hopefully, give both parties the opportunity to make the best decisions for their own future and, far more importantly, their children's (if kids are involved).
Court will generally endeavour to make the best decisions for the children whose parents have chosen an adversarial route... Now for my money, caring parents would be far more appropriate and better informed decision makers (some magistrates actually get this, so do not make their decisions too quickly - dragging out the case and ultimately costing more money to possibly still get it wrong....). Of course, if parents have gone so far down the road that adversarial is their only option - then, often at least one (but possibly both) parents have stopped truly thinking about their kids needs.
More men need to make reports about them being victimised, the possible harm being caused to their children etc etc etc. Or put up with the system as it presently is, which often fails to protect women, children or men, but, occasionally gets it completely right.
Houses etc are material possessions, if they are more important than the children you are doing something wrong...
Kids are greatly effected and, often blame themselves (nope it does not have to be rational) when their parents fight, argue and/or split up.
There are programs in schools presently about relationships violence and sexual assault, one in particular that I am aware of that is quite effective is the Love Bytes program...With any luck, the next generation will sort this stuff out much better than we are failing to.
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (Read 32292 times)
