Australian Politics Forum - ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••

Kytro

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #30 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:18am

bogarde73 wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 9:44am:

You're asking for an evolution in homo sapiens that might never come Lisa.
Laws don't seem to do much good.

What helps is attitude. Attitude within a culture can change (as it has many times before). The less acceptable it is socially, the fewer people will participate, and keep silent about it.

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Kytro

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #31 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:23am

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:18am:

And that's my point - 2 have to agree to counselling, otherwise its not on.

Quote:

Him: Honey I was uhhh thinking we should uhh see a counsellor..

Her: I'll give you f***g counselling you spineless loser blah blah blah....

*3 hours pass*

Her:...blah blah blah blah

A man has no recourse when he's been broken.

Violence sure wouldn't help matters.

If you are unhappy in the relationship, you leave. Yes it may end up being costly, but ultimately it could end up much worse if you try to use force.

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Ex Dame Pansi

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #32 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:26am

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:09am:

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:02am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:53am:

cods wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:37am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:28am:

cods wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:00am:

there should never be any excuse for VIOLENCE I dont care if she is the biggest nagger in the world...no excuses.

That's convenient if you're the nagger.

What is the naggees recourse?

look I do know naggers....but the point it.. if you cannot talk to this person the nagger.. then you can seek counselling today something that was never there years ago...

What if they don't agree to counselling?

Quote:

you do not have to remain in a marriage anymore ..

But if you don't, the nagger, who is very likely a 'she' will take your kids, your house, your car and a hefty slice of your future income. Doesn't sound like a very good deal. It sounds like rewarding bad behaviour.

No! I disagree.

Get counselling, get the issues out and sorted there.

It may very well mean a break up (depending on the circumstances)....but at least the process will be professionally documented and managed by someone neutral.

Also, if the matter does go to court for whatever reason, it makes participants look good....like they are trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Let's face it, these situations are bad...for everyone involved. Esp if kids are involved.

Sorry Honky, forgot to add that I myself have personally been through this journey.

It would have made matters easier for the kids and our bank balance had my ex bothered to come along to counselling. It would have nipped a lot of issues in the bud there and then. Ok?

Counselling would not have made any difference to the outcome of the distribution of assets. That is a totally different item to the actual divorce proceedings.

Unless you mean if the counselling did what it's supposed to do and saved the marriage.

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andrei said: Great isn't it? Seeing boatloads of what is nothing more than human garbage turn up.....

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...

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #33 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:27am

Kytro wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:23am:

If you are unhappy in the relationship, you leave. Yes it may end up being costly

But even more costly for your kids. You may be able to recover from having everything you've worked for taken by a bully, but in leaving you're removing the buffer between a toxic, abusive woman and your children.

What sort of selfish nice person would run and leave their kids in that life?

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In the fullness of time...

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Aussie

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #34 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:30am

Quote:

Counselling would not have made any difference to the outcome of the distribution of assets. That is a totally different item to the actual divorce proceedings.

Unless you mean if the counselling did what it's supposed to do and saved the marriage.

Exactly, and that is why I asked her what Court she was referring to. She was obviously implying the Family Court (and her comments are completely irrelevant there) but she left weazel room enough so that if she was challenged, she could claim she meant the Magistrates Court handling DVO Applications.

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Ex Dame Pansi

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #35 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:31am

Kytro wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:23am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:18am:

And that's my point - 2 have to agree to counselling, otherwise its not on.

Quote:

Him: Honey I was uhhh thinking we should uhh see a counsellor..

Her: I'll give you f***g counselling you spineless loser blah blah blah....

*3 hours pass*

Her:...blah blah blah blah

A man has no recourse when he's been broken.

Violence sure wouldn't help matters.

If you are unhappy in the relationship, you leave. Yes it may end up being costly, but ultimately it could end up much worse if you try to use force.

There's always an alternative option to violence.

Plenty of men have walked away from their house and their kids rather than stay and live in misery......and vice versa.

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." Hendrix
andrei said: Great isn't it? Seeing boatloads of what is nothing more than human garbage turn up.....

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Lisa Jones

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #36 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:33am

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:18am:

And that's my point - 2 have to agree to counselling, otherwise its not on.

Him: Honey I was uhhh thinking we should uhh see a counsellor..

Her: I'll give you f***g counselling you spineless loser blah blah blah....

*3 hours pass*

Her:...blah blah blah blah

Nope. You go Honky. And keep going.

And let your partner know how it's helping you.

She may very well change her mind. You just don't know.

Having said that, I tried all this with my ex husband.

It didn't work. Why? He flatly refused.

He had another agenda though...one which ultimately cost him over a million dollars in court costs. Oh and he lost the kids too....eventually.

I did say that I am speaking from personal experience.

One other impt thing Honky....do whatever you can to make things easier for the kids (if you have any). Always think of them first before you say or do anything. And make sure you let everyone know you're doing this.

That means counselling, mediation ...anything...for the sake of any kids who are caught in the middle and are torn btwn 2 people they love so much.

Do everything in your power to avoid Family Court. Only go there as a last resort. It's an expensive process and matters/relationships tend to go from bad to worse. It's an adversarial process so things can get very hurtful and dirty in there.

That's been my experience anyway.

Lawyers in our Family Court system come away with your money and your children's inheritance.

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

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Aussie Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 38497 Gender:	Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ••• Reply #37 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:35am Quote: one which ultimately cost him over a million dollars in court costs. Absolute ferking horseshit.
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Lisa Jones

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #38 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:36am

Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:26am:

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:09am:

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:02am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:53am:

cods wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:37am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:28am:

cods wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:00am:

there should never be any excuse for VIOLENCE I dont care if she is the biggest nagger in the world...no excuses.

That's convenient if you're the nagger.

What is the naggees recourse?

look I do know naggers....but the point it.. if you cannot talk to this person the nagger.. then you can seek counselling today something that was never there years ago...

What if they don't agree to counselling?

Quote:

you do not have to remain in a marriage anymore ..

But if you don't, the nagger, who is very likely a 'she' will take your kids, your house, your car and a hefty slice of your future income. Doesn't sound like a very good deal. It sounds like rewarding bad behaviour.

No! I disagree.

Get counselling, get the issues out and sorted there.

It may very well mean a break up (depending on the circumstances)....but at least the process will be professionally documented and managed by someone neutral.

Also, if the matter does go to court for whatever reason, it makes participants look good....like they are trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Let's face it, these situations are bad...for everyone involved. Esp if kids are involved.

Sorry Honky, forgot to add that I myself have personally been through this journey.

It would have made matters easier for the kids and our bank balance had my ex bothered to come along to counselling. It would have nipped a lot of issues in the bud there and then. Ok?

Counselling would not have made any difference to the outcome of the distribution of assets. That is a totally different item to the actual divorce proceedings.

Unless you mean if the counselling did what it's supposed to do and saved the marriage.

Wrong! Counselling brings out issues and next step plans.

It can also be very impt for future Family Court proceedings re asset distribution, spouse support etc. Very impt.

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)

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Aussie Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 38497 Gender:	Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ••• Reply #39 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:38am Quote: It can also be very impt for future Family Court proceedings re asset distribution, spouse support etc. Very impt. Yet again, absolute ferking horseshit. Conduct now has no bearing on either property distribuition, or maintenance, and it has not since 1975.
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Ex Dame Pansi Gold Member Offline Australian Politics Posts: 24168	Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ••• Reply #40 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:41am Aussie wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:35am: Quote: one which ultimately cost him over a million dollars in court costs. Absolute ferking horseshit. over a million dollars in court costs BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! What year was this Lisa?
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...

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #41 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:47am

Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:31am:

Kytro wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:23am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:18am:

And that's my point - 2 have to agree to counselling, otherwise its not on.

Quote:

Him: Honey I was uhhh thinking we should uhh see a counsellor..

Her: I'll give you f***g counselling you spineless loser blah blah blah....

*3 hours pass*

Her:...blah blah blah blah

A man has no recourse when he's been broken.

Violence sure wouldn't help matters.

If you are unhappy in the relationship, you leave. Yes it may end up being costly, but ultimately it could end up much worse if you try to use force.

There's always an alternative option to violence.

Plenty of men have walked away from their house and their kids rather than stay and live in misery......and vice versa.

You shouldn't expect anyone to make such a crappy choice.

Lose your lifes work and abandon your children to a life of poverty and misery

or

You people must have bumped your head if you think the first option has a better outcome.

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In the fullness of time...

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Lisa Jones

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #42 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:51am

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:36am:

Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:26am:

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:09am:

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:02am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:53am:

cods wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:37am:

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:28am:

cods wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:00am:

there should never be any excuse for VIOLENCE I dont care if she is the biggest nagger in the world...no excuses.

That's convenient if you're the nagger.

What is the naggees recourse?

look I do know naggers....but the point it.. if you cannot talk to this person the nagger.. then you can seek counselling today something that was never there years ago...

What if they don't agree to counselling?

Quote:

you do not have to remain in a marriage anymore ..

But if you don't, the nagger, who is very likely a 'she' will take your kids, your house, your car and a hefty slice of your future income. Doesn't sound like a very good deal. It sounds like rewarding bad behaviour.

No! I disagree.

Get counselling, get the issues out and sorted there.

It may very well mean a break up (depending on the circumstances)....but at least the process will be professionally documented and managed by someone neutral.

Also, if the matter does go to court for whatever reason, it makes participants look good....like they are trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Let's face it, these situations are bad...for everyone involved. Esp if kids are involved.

Sorry Honky, forgot to add that I myself have personally been through this journey.

It would have made matters easier for the kids and our bank balance had my ex bothered to come along to counselling. It would have nipped a lot of issues in the bud there and then. Ok?

Counselling would not have made any difference to the outcome of the distribution of assets. That is a totally different item to the actual divorce proceedings.

Unless you mean if the counselling did what it's supposed to do and saved the marriage.

Wrong! Counselling brings out issues and next step plans.

It can also be very impt for future Family Court proceedings re asset distribution, spouse support etc. Very impt.

In my case, it meant the sale of our matrimonial waterfront home.

Over a million dollars worth back then...and it went up in smoke to cover both his lawyers and mine (solicitors × 2, barristers x 2).

That same home recently sold for 4 million. It was nicely renovated too...but it was our children's inheritance. That hurt me a lot at the time. Not now, it made me determined to recover and move on and up.

He on the other hand, ended up topping himself after losing his share of the money on the stock market. He had no experience about that area....Lord knows what or if he was thinking.

Ok Hunky, I need to get going.

Ignore/report the trolls.

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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)

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Ex Dame Pansi

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #43 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:52am

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:36am:

Wrong! Counselling brings out issues and next step plans.

It can also be very impt for future Family Court proceedings re asset distribution, spouse support etc. Very impt.

The Family Court are only concerned with the children from that marriage, absolutely nothing to do with asset distribution. The solicitors will have worked out suitable child maintenance payments depending on the needs of the children and the ability of the other parent to pay.

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." Hendrix
andrei said: Great isn't it? Seeing boatloads of what is nothing more than human garbage turn up.....

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Unforgiven Gold Member Offline I have sinned Posts: 8879 Gender:	Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ••• Reply #44 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:52am double plus good wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:31am: In India your people practice a ritual where the widow is cremated with the husband Unforgiven. It's called Sati or Widow Burning. Now that's abuse. Doubleplusgood must have been a cremated Indian widow in a former life.
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