Australian Politics Forum - ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••

Redmond Neck Gold Member Offline OzPolitic Posts: 21417 ACT Gender:	Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ••• Reply #60 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 1:44pm Aussie wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:35am: Quote: one which ultimately cost him over a million dollars in court costs. Absolute ferking horseshit. Her stories do get better ever time dont they!
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Ex Dame Pansi

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #61 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 1:53pm

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 12:14pm:

A key identifying characteristic of a perpetrator :

Watch who gets agitated in such topics and repeatedly causes them to be shut down.

They do this by attempting to minimize, trivialize and marginalize what is stated by a past victim of domestic violence ....effectively trying to silence domestic violence survivors around them.

Keep that in mind whenever certain people post in here.

Do they challenge a survivors understanding of the court system?

Someone in here is trying to silence a victim of domestic violence.

Now, I can't see where.

Any clues Lisa?

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." Hendrix
andrei said: Great isn't it? Seeing boatloads of what is nothing more than human garbage turn up.....

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greggerypeccary Gold Member Online Australian Politics Posts: 135778 Gender:	Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ••• Reply #62 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 1:58pm Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:33am: He had another agenda though...one which ultimately cost him over a million dollars in court costs.
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Ex Dame Pansi

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #63 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 1:58pm

Redmond Neck wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 1:44pm:

Aussie wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:35am:

Quote:

one which ultimately cost him over a million dollars in court costs.

Absolute ferking horseshit.

Her stories do get better ever time dont they! Grin

Maybe she's lonely.

She used to pop into the CWA you know?

She always had an amusing story to tell. She won the 'tell and chat' award many times over the months.

Please do come back Lisa, we all miss you.

Would you like to come to the pyjama/karaoke/seance/cocktail and square dance on Saturday evening? It is bound to be a hoot!

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." Hendrix
andrei said: Great isn't it? Seeing boatloads of what is nothing more than human garbage turn up.....

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Ex Dame Pansi

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #64 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 2:01pm

cods wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 1:28pm:

Ex Dame Pansi wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 12:00pm:

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:51am:

Ok Hunky, I need to get going.

Ignore/report the trolls.

I'm intrigued, are you hunky, Honky?

down pansi... hunky honky is taken..you should know better.

Goodness cods! one of us would be dead within ten minutes of meeting.

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." Hendrix
andrei said: Great isn't it? Seeing boatloads of what is nothing more than human garbage turn up.....

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Gnads

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #65 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 2:10pm

Aussie wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:58am:

Unforgiven wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:52am:

double plus good wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:31am:

In India your people practice a ritual where the widow is cremated with the husband Unforgiven. It's called Sati or Widow Burning. Now that's abuse.

Doubleplusgood must have been a cremated Indian widow in a former life.

He is also posting crap. The practice was outlawed in the 1800s.

Yeah well this similar Indian DV hasn't ceased ......

Quote:

Bride burning or bride-burning is a form of domestic violence practised in Bangladesh, India, Pakistan and other countries located on or around the Indian subcontinent (but not Sri Lanka). A category of dowry death, bride-burning occurs when a young woman is murdered by her husband or his family for her family's refusal to pay additional dowry. The wife is typically doused with kerosene, gasoline, or other flammable liquid, and set alight, leading to death by fire.[1][2] Kerosene is most often used as the fuel.[3] It is most common in India and has been a major problem there since at least 1993.[4]

This crime has been treated as culpable homicide and, if proven, is usually accordingly punished by up to lifelong imprisonment or death.[1] Bride burning has been recognized as an important public health problem in India,[5] accounting for around 2,500 deaths per year in the country.[5] In 1995, Time Magazine reported that dowry deaths in India increased from around 400 a year in the early 1980s to around 5,800 a year by the middle of the 1990s.[6] A year later, CNN ran a story saying that every year police receive more than 2,500 reports of bride burning.[7] According to Indian National Crime Record Bureau, there were 1,948 convictions and 3,876 acquittals in dowry death cases in 2008.[8]

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"When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid." ~ Ricky Gervais

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Aussie

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #66 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 2:18pm

Gnads wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 2:10pm:

Aussie wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:58am:

Unforgiven wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 11:52am:

double plus good wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 10:31am:

In India your people practice a ritual where the widow is cremated with the husband Unforgiven. It's called Sati or Widow Burning. Now that's abuse.

Doubleplusgood must have been a cremated Indian widow in a former life.

He is also posting crap. The practice was outlawed in the 1800s.

Yeah well this similar Indian DV hasn't ceased ......

Quote:

Bride burning or bride-burning is a form of domestic violence practised in Bangladesh, India, Pakistan and other countries located on or around the Indian subcontinent (but not Sri Lanka). A category of dowry death, bride-burning occurs when a young woman is murdered by her husband or his family for her family's refusal to pay additional dowry. The wife is typically doused with kerosene, gasoline, or other flammable liquid, and set alight, leading to death by fire.[1][2] Kerosene is most often used as the fuel.[3] It is most common in India and has been a major problem there since at least 1993.[4]

This crime has been treated as culpable homicide and, if proven, is usually accordingly punished by up to lifelong imprisonment or death.[1] Bride burning has been recognized as an important public health problem in India,[5] accounting for around 2,500 deaths per year in the country.[5] In 1995, Time Magazine reported that dowry deaths in India increased from around 400 a year in the early 1980s to around 5,800 a year by the middle of the 1990s.[6] A year later, CNN ran a story saying that every year police receive more than 2,500 reports of bride burning.[7] According to Indian National Crime Record Bureau, there were 1,948 convictions and 3,876 acquittals in dowry death cases in 2008.[8]

Nothing similar about it whatsoever. In the case of Sati, it is a widow suiciding on her dead husband's pyre. You are talking about an entirely different crime.

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Kytro

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #67 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 2:34pm

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 12:53pm:

And you can't help your children if you're not around either.

If you're looking for a one size fits all approach, and I strongly suspect you are, you're going to be left wanting - there isn't one - and that just makes it easier to do nothing. Or, as is the case now, to keep going down an avenue that has zero chance of success, comforted by saying "we did what we could". But that is not true, we only "do what we could" within a narrow ideological framework. If its important to tackle the issue, that framework needs to be revaluated.

I have no issues examining the situation, but violence almost always leads to poorer outcomes, and where it does not, it is usually because violence is already present.

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #68 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:06pm

The threat of violence is far more powerful than actual violence. But in a society that enforces the mantra "violence is NEVER acceptable" that threat has no power. It's as though one side has been disarmed.

But compounding this, is that the threat of unimaginable violence is now in her hands. If he should lose his temper for a second and lash out, no matter the extent of provocation, she can hurt him more than he could ever hurt her, via the strong arm of the state. A slap on the cheek stings for a few seconds, but a slap from the state can destroy your whole life.

While he's been disarmed, she has nuclear weapons. How can that ever work?

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In the fullness of time...

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #69 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:09pm

Fuunily enough, if we were to shut up about "violence" and just accept it is always on the table, actual instances of it would decrease.

As I said, the threat of violence is far more powerful - behaviour would be checked if there was an implicit understanding that it could result in harm, leading to better behaviour, less provocation and consequently fewer outbursts of explosive, impulsive violence.

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In the fullness of time...

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Aussie

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #70 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:12pm

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:06pm:

The threat of violence is far more powerful than actual violence. But in a society that enforces the mantra "violence is NEVER acceptable" that threat has no power. It's as though one side has been disarmed.

But compounding this, is that the threat of unimaginable violence is now in her hands. If he should lose his temper for a second and lash out, no matter the extent of provocation, she can hurt him more than he could ever hurt her, via the strong arm of the state. A slap on the cheek stings for a few seconds, but a slap from the state can destroy your whole life.

While he's been disarmed, she has nuclear weapons. How can that ever work?

You argument is logical. I have never hit a female, but I have represented blokes who have. Invariably, it was never out of "Oh I'm pissed, where's me dinner, cop this bitch." There was always some level of provocation which preceded it.

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #71 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:13pm

The second "scared cow" that needs to be reevaluated is the notion that the victim is NEVER at all responsible. That is garbage.

Whether it is pushing someone to their breaking point, or even starting a family with a known thug to begin with, the victim often bears a lot of responsibility. Possibly even the bulk of it.

If I get into a bears enclosure at the zoo, poke it with a stick and get mauled, who's fault is it? A sensible person would avoid being in close quarters with a dangerous animal to begin with, and they certainly wouldn't provoke it. I think bears are cute and all, just like women think the bikie with a heart of gold is, but make no mistake, they will kill you in a heartbeat. Avoid.

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Kytro

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #72 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:16pm

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:06pm:

The threat of violence is far more powerful than actual violence. But in a society that enforces the mantra "violence is NEVER acceptable" that threat has no power. It's as though one side has been disarmed.

But compounding this, is that the threat of unimaginable violence is now in her hands. If he should lose his temper for a second and lash out, no matter the extent of provocation, she can hurt him more than he could ever hurt her, via the strong arm of the state. A slap on the cheek stings for a few seconds, but a slap from the state can destroy your whole life.

While he's been disarmed, she has nuclear weapons. How can that ever work?

This is exactly the problem I'm getting at, making excuses for violence and threats. This is what I mean when I say domestic violence (like other violence) exists because there are elements of society that think it's acceptable. As long as this attitude remains, so too shall the problem of violence being prevalent in society.

Making threats teaches children that it's a reasonable way to solve your problems (trying bully others into submission), which in turn perpetuates the cycle.

This applies to everyone - hitting, screaming and threats are not how adults should carry on relationships. There is nothing on this earth that could compel me to remain in a broken relationship, I have seen them and what they do, and having children in one is far worse for them than being in a single-parent family.

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Kytro

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #73 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:21pm

... wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:13pm:

The second "scared cow" that needs to be reevaluated is the notion that the victim is NEVER at all responsible. That is garbage.

Whether it is pushing someone to their breaking point, or even starting a family with a known thug to begin with, the victim often bears a lot of responsibility. Possibly even the bulk of it.

If I get into a bears enclosure at the zoo, poke it with a stick and get mauled, who's fault is it? A sensible person would avoid being in close quarters with a dangerous animal to begin with, and they certainly wouldn't provoke it.

I'm not much on responsibility, it's a distraction from locating and fixing the problems in most cases, but for the sake of discussion:

If someone starts a family with a known thug, they are responsible for the poor choice of doing so, however they are not responsible for the other person's actions. That person is the thug, the violent one, and they make choices just the same. Upsetting someone way explain a violent outburst, but it does not justify it.

The analogy with the bear is flawed, it's a bear it does not have concepts of society and morality.

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Kytro

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Re: ••• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE •••
Reply #74 - Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:23pm

Aussie wrote on Oct 1^st, 2015 at 3:12pm:

You argument is logical. I have never hit a female, but I have represented blokes who have. Invariably, it was never out of "Oh I'm pissed, where's me dinner, cop this bitch." There was always some level of provocation which preceded it.

That does not, and should not make it an acceptable response. If you cannot control your actions, then you need a new toolset.

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