Setanta wrote on Jan 7
th, 2016 at 6:42pm:
President Elect, The Mechanic wrote on Jan 7
th, 2016 at 5:43pm:
by the way...
I received a txt from the mrs today..
she reminded me that it was 32 years to the day of when we had our first date...
now see.. it still lights her fire
Nah, she wanted you to buy her something. hint... hint...
So, all the kids are adults and my wife, after 32 years, has not run off and left me to fool with alpha stallions, what does that say?
i dont know your circumstances but the quite common situation seems to be this.
2 people get into a relationship (marriage or whatever) and they pop out a couple of kids.
They then both , sort of, "take each other off the market"
Hubby doesnt mind that the wife puts on a little weight , cuts her hair a bit shorter.
She doesnt mind that he does the same.
I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all.
In fact its a fairly stable and sensible way for people to reproduce and raise kids.
But, do women secretly want a partner who is a dope-ass stud....you bet, but she's scared he'll be targeted by other women.
And do men secretly want a partner who is a super hot sex kitten....you bet, but he's scared she'll be targeted by other men.
So theres a sort of "unwritten " agreement , in a lot of couples to become this way (sort of mediocre..but in the best sense of the word).
Does it have to be this way?
No it doesnt.
if you are a total champ (a strong protective alpha male) your partner wont be going anywhere and the way for her to "keep you" is to become that ball of female energy.
Steven Cuvey talks about this as the "interdependant" relationship, where both partners just work to make thier individual selves as "awesome" as possible.
sadly most partners are co-dependant.
they want their partner to "fulfil" them.
This can never work.
You can only fulfil yourself and neediness is always resented