All Mods have a responsibility to account for themselves..if you can't do this then not only aren't you a mod but you are not a man...you cannot hide behind the internet...you have a responsibility to explain your actions..if not on a thread then at least in a PM...I expect at least that..if you can't come up with that then I will expose you on here....IP blocking means nothing in this day and age

crash

Well I'd agree with that.... recognition of that lack should lead to something more positive than cheating on your partner. Better realise that by dissolving the partnership, than to go on in a dysfunctional pairing, because ultimately it will fall apart anyway. But years of life can be wasted in denial.

Speaking from experience here.
It becomes a battle... who is the stubbornnest, who is the faithless one. That's why we see so many many bad relationships, when love twists in contempt and even hate.

John Smith wrote on Aug 16^th, 2016 at 8:47pm:



Missing something within themselves, actually

Aussie wrote on Aug 17^th, 2016 at 3:37pm:



Your post suggests your interpretation of my post has gone through your personal filter


So I'll expand on my initial post:

People who stray blame their betrayed partner

Society makes that easy to do, because the meedya pushes that angle

But the truth is far simpler yet more complex than, 'They were looking for something they couldn't find within their current relationship, that's why they strayed'

No. Something is missing from within the one who strays

They'll claim they and their current partner were no long 'compatible'

They'll claim their current partner has this or that wrong with them

But they remain in jobs they don't enjoy

They remain in their original extended family very often (parents, siblings, in-laws, etc)

They stick with the same group of friends also, even though in private they'll complain about some or all of them

They'll still with the same brand of vehicle, often life long, despite the brand putting out a succession of lemons

They'll stick with the same footy team

They'll stick with the same political team

It's their current partner (and all their previous partners) they won't stick with.  Work that out

Why do they stray?  Dozens of reasons and they'll drone on about them for hours if you let them

Bottom line -- what did they do to salvage their current relationship before straying?

Did they inform their current partner beforehand that they intended to stray?

usually they dodge those questions


Some people get into a relationship in order to sabotage it and hurt someone.  And kids are considered by those people to be collateral damage

They go through life screwing people over.  It's how they gain a feeling of power

and they need that feeling of power (although they'd be the last to recognize what they're all about) because they are inadequate

a series of shallow relationships is all they can handle

Then they get old and no one wants them.  So they moan some more with no one to listen

Relationships aren't a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.  Relationships aren't a hot weekend.  Relationships aren't a part-time, casual job

People want to stray, fine. They must pay the costs. But before they stray, they need to nail their flag to the mast and come clean with their partner, as in, 'Hey babe, I wanna screw this guy/girl at work'

Anything less is gutless and the mark of someone who gets more 'reward' from the fuss, pain and attention they'll gain from their betrayal than from the actual screwing of someone new

because as day follows night, they'll do it to the next one and next one and next one

A relationship is a contract.  Honourable people honour the contracts they've signed

Relationships, like business partnerships, hire-purchase contracts, etc. can result in break-ups

But it's HOW the break-up is managed which is the mark of a human or vermin

Those who betray a partner behind that partner's back fail to make the grade

If people stepped up and made their position clear from the outset a lot of life's pain would be ameliorated

No one likes to be backstabbed in politics, sports, friendships or anything else

Infidelity is the ultimate backstab. Which is why some choose to be backstabbers.  They need to cause pain.  Because there's something wrong with, something missing, inside themselves

they yelp like angry cats when it happens to them

and it usually does

John Smith wrote on Aug 17^th, 2016 at 4:34pm:


Find that hard to believe. Really? How could they NOT BE AWARE..? They want it, and rather than try to meet their partner half-way, they stray. Like Tom Cats, not like thinking human beings.


  I think PZ547 has pretty much got it covered. A reasoned and well-written post.

Agnes wrote on Aug 17^th, 2016 at 9:23pm:


Which 'self' do you mean Sarge, the married cheater or the betrayed?.

If the cheating partner is having fun for now, their happiness will be short lived.
So I can only take from your reply tho, that you think the one cheated upon is the one to (blame) look at themselves.  Funny that.. a bit of a one-way street eh?

You are betrayed, you are responsible. I'll refer you back to the recent post by PZ547, whose comments are worth re-reading.

Are you saying boredom and not getting enough sex  relieves the cheater of any responsibility?. Sounds like it to me.

What about the commitments made in marriage?. Is temporary pleasure , perhaps leading to another relationship,
a sign of a decent person?.