5. He Calls His Wife "Mother"

Mike Pence and his wife Karen have, on the surface, a pretty fantastic-looking marriage, if your definition of a fantastic marriage only includes missionary. They've been together since college, they've been blessed with smart kids, and Karen has remained loyal to Mike even as pledged his loyalty to a man who embodies the opposite of everything they believe as Christians.

In fact, the Pences are such a well-known dream couple that a lot of conservatives and liberals alike were quick to come to their defense when Mike was grilled (and rightly so) for refusing to sit down for dinner with any woman (even a colleague) without anyone else present. Why respect hamburger when you can have steak at home, right?

But that's not even the weirdest dinner story coming out of the Pence family. During his time as governor, at a small dinner with some state legislators, Mike found himself seated at the other end of the table from his wife. Not knowing how to do small talk without his talking point prompts (as he is wont to do), a flustered Pence cried out to his wife, "Mother! Mother! Who prepared our meal this evening?" That's right, the 2017 vice president of the United States calls his wife "mother." "Mother!" like how a teenage Mormon girl grumbles at her mom when she says something embarrassing in front of a cute boy. The only time that a sitting governor should address his wife as "mother" in front of other legislators is when those administrators are wearing stovepipe hats and discussing Confederate troop movements.

But what is much more disturbing is that Karen Pence isn't just the "mother" in their relationship, but the daddy as well. She has another nickname in the Pence household: "prayer warrior." And if some people formerly close to the Pences are to be believed, it seems that she's the real force behind Mike's conservative stances. Since his election as a representative, Mrs. Pence has had a red phone installed in Pence's offices that only she has the number to. She also sits in on meetings as his "gut check and shield," helped pick his staff, and is present during his debriefings. That's a lot of political influence for a raging homophobe who thinks sexuality is a choice and believes her prayers can increase people's hemoglobin count. So in case some of us are still thinking President Pence might be the lesser of two evils, don't forget who would really be running the show -- and Karen Pence ain't no Edith Bolling Galt Wilson.

4. Pence Went Full Racist In One Campaign Ad

To get a sense of how Pence got to where he is now, it's important to dig back into his earliest ventures into politics, when he was young (middle-aged) and idealistic. His first run for Congress in 1988 was less than successful, as he lost to a Democrat (in Indiana!) named Philip Sharp. This understandably left the young upstart Pence feeling fairly dejected, and he came back in 1990 ready to campaign like he was on a mission from God.

Apparently, that divine mandate required Pence to be racist as bugger. See, there was a bit of a desert storm brewing in the early 1990s, and the Pence campaign realized what an important issue oil in the Middle East might become. So they launched an ad campaign that has mysteriously been wiped from the internet, save for this still.

That white dude In a Bob Marley costume is an actor pretending to be a Middle Eastern man, ironically thanking Representative Sharp for getting America to rely so heavily on his country's oil. That's racist even by fratboy standards. And remember, this was 11 years before the September 11th attacks launched anti-Muslim feelings in the United States into the stratosphere, making Pence a hipster of Islamophobia (he was into it before everybody else was). There was just no reason for Pence to give this the thumbs-up -- though to his credit, he's admitted the backlash from this ad convinced him to never again launch a negative ad himself. That's what running mates are for.

But shockingly, this terrible ad isn't what lost Pence the race. It would later come out that he'd been misusing campaign funds to pay for his mortgage, groceries, car payments, and golf tournament entries -- or as we know it now, training for being in the Trump cabinet. This wasn't illegal at the time, but for someone running on fiscal responsibility and down-home morals and values, this was the final nail in the coffin for Pence's early political career.

He would have to go on to pursue a somewhat different dream ...

1. Even The Republicans In Indiana Hate Him

For a man in such high office, Mike Pence is not a very popular man. Even among conservatives in already-blood-red Indiana, Pence is about as liked as a unisex bathroom with a concealed carry ban. Remember how his first two congressional losses were to a Democrat? Well, that nearly happened again in his gubernatorial elections. His first win in 2012 came with about a 3 percent margin, even as Mitt Romney beat Barack Obama in Indiana by about 10 percent. That's right, Pence has less of a way with people than Mitt Romney.

Even worse was the 2016 gubernatorial election. Prior to accepting the VP nomination in July, Pence was still leading for reelection -- barely. About two months before getting tabbed for the Trump ticket, he was polling at
roughly a dead heat with Democrat John Gregg.

Turns out Pence had spent a little too much of his political capital on the "Religious Freedom Restoration Act," which protects the legal rights of people discriminating against others on the basis of their god not liking them. Championing the bill (and then slowly backing away after the slightest of pressure) left him with a higher disapproval rating than approval. Voters claimed that while Pence might have been better equipped to handle things like the budget, they trusted Gregg more to handle things like, and this is an actual quote, "not embarrassing the state of Indiana on a national level."

Finally, Pence has been on the receiving end of a bunch of protests throughout his career, though it seems like the worst is yet to come. But none probably stung more than watching about 150 graduates of the University of Notre Dame and their families walk out as Pence (who was only invited because student body had protested against inviting Trump) got up to give the commencement address last May. That's a significant percentage of (largely wealthy and conservative) students who walked away from the most important day of their lives in order to not be on the same football field as a man like Pence.


http://www.cracked.com/article_24900_6-wtf-mike-pence-stories-youll-wish-we-were...

cods wrote on Jul 13^th, 2017 at 1:25pm:


Come on cods.

Pence is a wack job.

Even you would admit that.