Karnal
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I see. Thanks for simplifying that one, dear. Basically, it goes like this.
Pfizer buy words on Google.
Google say thank you, then call up Canberra, long distance from California.
Greg Hunt's secretary answers the phone, hears the pips and realises it's important. She puts the call straight through to his office.
Google catch Greg Hunt practicing his putting, wearing his boxers (he wants to keep the crease in his trousers for an important meeting).
Greggy, Google says, how's things Down Under?
Greggy complains about the voters being ungrateful and public servants slacking off, the usual stuff. Google tells Greggy to come join the private sector. Greggy says his doctor's been saying that for years, it might bring his blood pressure down.
Google says Greggy would know, he's the health minister. They both have a chuckle about that.
Google gets down to business. Listen, Google says, you know that new vaccine, the Aussie one?
Greggy doesn't know.
Google tells him it's becoming a bit of a problem for friends of theirs, can he put a ban on it?
Well, you can't just ban stuff, Greggy says, it's complicated. Anyway, the doctors do all that stuff, he just signs off on it.
Okay, so can he make things difficult?
Greggy asks if Google means, like, take them out?
No, nothing like that, Google says, that would be against the code of ethics. No, more like fine them for false advertising, something like that.
Oh, okay, Greggy says, sounding relieved. Sure. He could make something up, issue a thirty thousand dollar fine. Would that help?
Perfect, Google says. That'll keep our friends happy. How's the putting going?
Oh, Greggy lies, he has no time for any of that...
Well, you'd better make time, Google says. We have some important friends we'd like to bring down. They'll want to try your Royal Canberra golf course. Our shout.
No worries, Greggy says. It'll take his mind off the election. Just as he starts on that, Google cuts him off.
Keep your chin up, Greggy, we don't want to deal with those leftards after the next election, you look after yourself.
Oh, listen, Greggy says, I need to fix the words, "Australian Health Department". Every time you Google it, some strange website shows up.
Better try Sales, Greggy, they'll sort you out. We'll talk soon, okay?
Google hangs up. Greggy finds himself talking to a bot who wants to rate the quality of his call.
Give it a go, dear. Google Australian health department. What do you get?
That's Google for you, no? How diabolically cunning can you get?
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