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Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent (Read 1718 times)
Marla
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Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Jul 17th, 2022 at 12:01am
 
Yours truly is planning to go to the land of Vegemite bliss this December which is your summer to my winter and to all of our heart's discontent. Even my travel agent was an "Ozzie" sorry, AuZZie, no wait, it's Fozzie the Bear, right?

...
What a "local" Australian travel agent looks like.

Our conversation was meaningless an pointless as he took my money:

"Ere, uur, youuul 'ave a wuderful time, mate."

See? SEE? Immediately this dude starts calling me his "mate"

So I'm like "Dude, I not not going by a god damn ship, am I?"

He laughs. Thinks to himself 'Another god damn lowly-educated American on my hands.'

"Egits jus un' expression, mate. Like huw uwe Ameurcuns says "dude."

Well!

So I'm all like "Dude, the word dude is universal and succinct to the letter in that it means your life and personal existence and interest don't mean anything to me."

And then he's all like "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude."

While there I'm more than planning on being the ugly American tourist as I can possibly be. I'll intentionally mispronounce everything like Canberra as "Can-of-berra" brekky as "brake fast" and be sure to wear a Fosters t-shirt with a silk screen of Chris Hemsworth blowing Hugh Jackman on the back.

I dunno. Maybe some Trump gear so I can get in good with the local racist seeing that weed is not legal there what else is there to do?

Don't want to "see" the beaches" or one single kangaroo because we all know that Eckhart dude will be "rooting" them all with his anti-America hook-and-sloganism. I mean, gross.  No I want to see bogans. Loads and loads of bogans for I hear they are like Texuuns only with better accents and can count above 3. Then to top it all off, I'll visit a couple of aboriginal ghettos. I'll be safe, right? It's not like they can afford Rohypnol or have a gun.

If I have any remaining leftover "fiddly" I'll venture into the Outback and take a selfie and say, "There is where they filmed Mad Max" and are flimflaming another one now with that hot girl from the Queen's Gambit." So touristy.

I hope to die from dehydration only to consume gallons of Fosters from bathtub (I hear it runs backwards there), develop kangaroo pox from a bogan, stalk Steve Kilbey, see Pine Gap where the CIA plans all their political assassination operations, meet a Fozzie lesbian (but not Ruby Rose) and take her back to L.A. and maybe if there is still time celebrate on watching the Great Barrier Reef slowly die.

Wuderful time, indeed.
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AusGeoff
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #1 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 12:10am
 
I'm still laughing mate!  Comedy gold.

Grin   Grin   Grin

Seriously though, I'm sure you'll enjoy your holiday downunder.
Just make very certain to watch out for our drop bears though;
far too many an overseas tourist has ended up in hospital after
an encounter with these rabid killers.

...



—Cop ya later cobber.     Wink

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Marla
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #2 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 12:28am
 
Thanks! I'm going to Mail Born because I once heard the great Colin Hay walked upon the soil there. He's an American citizen now like that dude from Tears for Fears so he sold his soul. Both of them live right up the street from me in L.A. where I work in the summer. 

Had zero interest to go to Sid Knee due to the fact the Fozzie travel agent told me of many "great deals" there. Who cares about deals? For how much air travel is these days I want to go where I'll get lost easily and end up being date raped by an ex-pat limey who is a staunch Bananarama fan although Sid Knee has much better ghettos. You know, where Eckhart lives burning American flags in the name of Jesus just to keep warm.

Loads of bummers, though. Like Starbucks and The Gap Stores everywhere Did see this on a Mail Born image search

...

Looks a lot like east Denver - only cleaner.
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UnSubRocky
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #3 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 1:40am
 
Australia is a third-world country because we are a primary producer society. Most things related to my town are either primary cattle industry or mining related. There is no real drive to innovate in this country.
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At this stage...
WWW  
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Marla
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #4 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 1:44am
 
But...but...but...

...
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I know progress has no patience but something's got to give
 
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AusGeoff
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #5 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 7:28am
 
Marla wrote on Jul 17th, 2022 at 12:28am:
Thanks! I'm going to Mail Born because I once heard the great Colin Hay walked upon the soil there. He's an American citizen now like that dude from Tears for Fears so he sold his soul. Both of them live right up the street from me in L.A. where I work in the summer. 

Had zero interest to go to Sid Knee due to the fact the Fozzie travel agent told me of many "great deals" there. Who cares about deals? For how much air travel is these days I want to go where I'll get lost easily and end up being date raped by an ex-pat limey who is a staunch Bananarama fan although Sid Knee has much better ghettos. You know, where Eckhart lives burning American flags in the name of Jesus just to keep warm.

Loads of bummers, though. Like Starbucks and The Gap Stores everywhere Did see this on a Mail Born image search

Looks a lot like east Denver - only cleaner.


...

LOL... this is suburban Redfern where most of Sydney's boongs live.
BTW, you should've seen this terrace before the government gave it
a facelift.  Looks nice now ay?


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FutureTheLeftWant
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #6 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 7:32am
 
Marla wrote on Jul 17th, 2022 at 12:01am:
Yours truly is planning to go to the land of Vegemite bliss this December which is your summer to my winter and to all of our heart's discontent. Even my travel agent was an "Ozzie" sorry, AuZZie, no wait, it's Fozzie the Bear, right?

https://www.southcoastbusiness.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/fozzie-bear-e16164...
What a "local" Australian travel agent looks like.

Our conversation was meaningless an pointless as he took my money:

"Ere, uur, youuul 'ave a wuderful time, mate."

See? SEE? Immediately this dude starts calling me his "mate"

So I'm like "Dude, I not not going by a god damn ship, am I?"

He laughs. Thinks to himself 'Another god damn lowly-educated American on my hands.'

"Egits jus un' expression, mate. Like huw uwe Ameurcuns says "dude."

Well!

So I'm all like "Dude, the word dude is universal and succinct to the letter in that it means your life and personal existence and interest don't mean anything to me."

And then he's all like "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude."

While there I'm more than planning on being the ugly American tourist as I can possibly be. I'll intentionally mispronounce everything like Canberra as "Can-of-berra" brekky as "brake fast" and be sure to wear a Fosters t-shirt with a silk screen of Chris Hemsworth blowing Hugh Jackman on the back.

I dunno. Maybe some Trump gear so I can get in good with the local racist seeing that weed is not legal there what else is there to do?

Don't want to "see" the beaches" or one single kangaroo because we all know that Eckhart dude will be "rooting" them all with his anti-America hook-and-sloganism. I mean, gross.  No I want to see bogans. Loads and loads of bogans for I hear they are like Texuuns only with better accents and can count above 3. Then to top it all off, I'll visit a couple of aboriginal ghettos. I'll be safe, right? It's not like they can afford Rohypnol or have a gun.

If I have any remaining leftover "fiddly" I'll venture into the Outback and take a selfie and say, "There is where they filmed Mad Max" and are flimflaming another one now with that hot girl from the Queen's Gambit." So touristy.

I hope to die from dehydration only to consume gallons of Fosters from bathtub (I hear it runs backwards there), develop kangaroo pox from a bogan, stalk Steve Kilbey, see Pine Gap where the CIA plans all their political assassination operations, meet a Fozzie lesbian (but not Ruby Rose) and take her back to L.A. and maybe if there is still time celebrate on watching the Great Barrier Reef slowly die.

Wuderful time, indeed.


Who in the christ uses a travel agent in 2022? America is a third world country, of course.  In your time here you won't see news stories about mass shootings or poor people dying of preventable disease
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Jake Winker Frogen
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #7 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 1:50pm
 
At yet the world's desperate try to flee here and not flee from Australia.
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The Heartless Felon
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #8 - Jul 17th, 2022 at 5:50pm
 
You'll be fine here Marla, as long as you bring your map of Tasmania...
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Jake Winker Frogen
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #9 - Jul 18th, 2022 at 3:05pm
 
Australia is the greatest country on Earth.

Now get a dog up in ya!
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Cheese is Guud Eaten.
 
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John Smith
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #10 - Jul 18th, 2022 at 3:23pm
 
The Heartless Felon wrote on Jul 17th, 2022 at 5:50pm:
You'll be fine here Marla, as long as you bring your map of Tasmania...


Grin Grin Grin

she won't get that one.
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Our esteemed leader:
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.
 
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John Smith
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #11 - Jul 18th, 2022 at 3:24pm
 
Marla wrote on Jul 17th, 2022 at 1:44am:



thats just what we sell the tourists. The good stuff is under the counter
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Our esteemed leader:
I hope that bitch who was running their brothels for them gets raped with a cactus.
 
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Bias_2012
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #12 - Jul 18th, 2022 at 3:35pm
 
Foster's ?? ... how sick do you want to be the next morning?

Go for the best, Tooheys New, or XXXX

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Our Lives Are Governed By The Feast & Famine Variable
 
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lee
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #13 - Jul 18th, 2022 at 3:41pm
 
Keep Australia beautiful... stay home.
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mothra
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Re: Why Australia Is A Third-World Continent
Reply #14 - Jul 18th, 2022 at 4:02pm
 
AusGeoff wrote on Jul 17th, 2022 at 7:28am:
Marla wrote on Jul 17th, 2022 at 12:28am:
Thanks! I'm going to Mail Born because I once heard the great Colin Hay walked upon the soil there. He's an American citizen now like that dude from Tears for Fears so he sold his soul. Both of them live right up the street from me in L.A. where I work in the summer. 

Had zero interest to go to Sid Knee due to the fact the Fozzie travel agent told me of many "great deals" there. Who cares about deals? For how much air travel is these days I want to go where I'll get lost easily and end up being date raped by an ex-pat limey who is a staunch Bananarama fan although Sid Knee has much better ghettos. You know, where Eckhart lives burning American flags in the name of Jesus just to keep warm.

Loads of bummers, though. Like Starbucks and The Gap Stores everywhere Did see this on a Mail Born image search

Looks a lot like east Denver - only cleaner.


https://i.postimg.cc/ry1QnY8b/49427393-block-1.jpg

LOL... this is suburban Redfern where most of Sydney's boongs live.
BTW, you should've seen this terrace before the government gave it
a facelift.  Looks nice now ay?




Good to see you finally coming out as a bona fide racist. You've been circling the drain sine you've got here. No question now.

I repeat, pity, you showed promise.
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If you can't be a good example, you have to be a horrible warning.
 
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