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Why do we women demand to have the last word.. (Read 6133 times)
Postmodern Trendoid III
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #15 - Oct 17th, 2023 at 9:21pm
 
They're obsessed with domination and control.
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Super Nova
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #16 - Oct 17th, 2023 at 10:32pm
 
Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 10:40am:
Super Nova wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 12:09am:
That is not true. I always have the last word.

And it is.............

"Yes honey you are correct as always".


That’s actually a very passive aggressive comment IMO. My husband tried that type of sentence a few times on me. Last time he tried that stunt I was washing the dishes. I stopped, dried my hands with the kitchen hand towel and looked at him (at first quite fiercely then with some degree of compassion because he had no idea about what was coming next). I won’t go into specifics but he did apologise for the remark AND for the fact that the kids heard him say it (the latter hurt me more because I believe it sends the wrong message to the next generation).

Back to this topic (and to Super Nova) :

Those types of hurtful comments essentially infer that husbands have no say and we women are some sort of horrible dictators. That’s not the case at all. It’s just that we want a Voice in the domestic sphere that’s heard, valued, respected and regarded. That’s all. The point many men fail to realise is this: the moment we women sense that our opinions and ideas are listened to and are part of the discussion/key decision making process for our household THEN we sense the co ownership in terms of power to move forward as a family and as a TEAM.

As regards my particular family...all I want is this : for everyone (irrespective of their age or gender) to be/feel worthy of having and expressing an opinion that can be heard, considered and discussed.

Do you all want to know WHY I want this for every member of my family? Because that allows for open and effective communication and that there is how I as a wife and a mother can detect potential issues. Kids need to know they can tell their mum anything no matter what it is. Husbands too. The last thing I want is this (and this has happened to others I know unfortunately) ... is for my husband or one of my children to commit suicide because whatever was vexing their spirit was something which they felt unable to share/offload. And make no mistake ...depression and suicide esp amongst boys/men is a scourge in our country.

So anyway I was pissed off with my husband for making such a hurtful comment because it came across as though he was deliberately pressing those buttons he knew would upset me the most.



Yes Lisa you are correct as always Cheesy

BTW, I do not think it is passive aggressive. It is how you learn to make things work. a happy wife is a happier life. Sometimes I have to determine if it is worthwhile putting in the effort to disagree. If is not important, I agree because I don't really care.

E.g.

Does my bum look big in this dress?
No not really
Ok I will change it to the dress that is like a tent.
OK Honey you are already right.

Care factor - fu.k all.
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UnSubRocky
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #17 - Oct 17th, 2023 at 11:33pm
 
Women just think they have the last word.
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Lisa Jones
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #18 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 6:27am
 
Postmodern Trendoid III wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 9:21pm:
They're obsessed with domination and control.


Look to be fair we European girls tend to demand control of the kitchen, bathroom and laundry spaces. These parts of the house are high traffic areas which need a lot of cleaning and sorting out.

Is that such a bad thing for you guys?? I mean if you had a wife who wanted to do all the cooking and all the cleaning up afterwards plus did all the washing and the cleaning of the laundry and bathroom spaces what would you think of your wife?
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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

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Lisa Jones
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #19 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 6:35am
 
UnSubRocky wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 11:33pm:
Women just think they have the last word.


😮😳

So you’re saying we’re made to believe that we have the final say ???

Hmmm. This never crossed my mind. What an incredible revelation though. Might keep that on hold for tonight ... after dinner.
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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)
 
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Lisa Jones
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #20 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 7:11am
 
Super Nova wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 10:32pm:
Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 10:40am:
Super Nova wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 12:09am:
That is not true. I always have the last word.

And it is.............

"Yes honey you are correct as always".


That’s actually a very passive aggressive comment IMO. My husband tried that type of sentence a few times on me. Last time he tried that stunt I was washing the dishes. I stopped, dried my hands with the kitchen hand towel and looked at him (at first quite fiercely then with some degree of compassion because he had no idea about what was coming next). I won’t go into specifics but he did apologise for the remark AND for the fact that the kids heard him say it (the latter hurt me more because I believe it sends the wrong message to the next generation).

Back to this topic (and to Super Nova) :

Those types of hurtful comments essentially infer that husbands have no say and we women are some sort of horrible dictators. That’s not the case at all. It’s just that we want a Voice in the domestic sphere that’s heard, valued, respected and regarded. That’s all. The point many men fail to realise is this: the moment we women sense that our opinions and ideas are listened to and are part of the discussion/key decision making process for our household THEN we sense the co ownership in terms of power to move forward as a family and as a TEAM.

As regards my particular family...all I want is this : for everyone (irrespective of their age or gender) to be/feel worthy of having and expressing an opinion that can be heard, considered and discussed.

Do you all want to know WHY I want this for every member of my family? Because that allows for open and effective communication and that there is how I as a wife and a mother can detect potential issues. Kids need to know they can tell their mum anything no matter what it is. Husbands too. The last thing I want is this (and this has happened to others I know unfortunately) ... is for my husband or one of my children to commit suicide because whatever was vexing their spirit was something which they felt unable to share/offload. And make no mistake ...depression and suicide esp amongst boys/men is a scourge in our country.

So anyway I was pissed off with my husband for making such a hurtful comment because it came across as though he was deliberately pressing those buttons he knew would upset me the most.



Yes Lisa you are correct as always Cheesy

BTW, I do not think it is passive aggressive. It is how you learn to make things work. a happy wife is a happier life. Sometimes I have to determine if it is worthwhile putting in the effort to disagree. If is not important, I agree because I don't really care.

E.g.

Does my bum look big in this dress?
No not really
Ok I will change it to the dress that is like a tent.
OK Honey you are already right.

Care factor - fu.k all.


Oh ok so you’re saying some men deliberately pick/choose their fights/arguments. Why? Because some struggles aren’t worth the worry/stress (in the big scheme of things).

Look I think you’re a tactful strategist. You’d make a great politician. Diplomacy is your forte.

(And yes I started this topic because it overlaps with politics. It’s a microcosm of sorts ... structured with parallel issues affecting the perpetual power struggle btwn opposing sides vying for a Voice - a say in determining rights/responsibilities). At some stage we may well realise that RELATIONSHIPS and how well we handle them is at the core of everything...including the core of politics.)










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« Last Edit: Oct 18th, 2023 at 7:16am by Lisa Jones »  

If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)
 
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mothra
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #21 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 10:40am
 
LMAO! What a load of outdated, sexist, delusional crap this thread is.

Seriously, no wonder half the forum think Larry's a bloke. I'm seriously questioning whether they have actually even had a conversation with and actual woman. And the whole control over the wet areas meaning they are in control? 1960 it <<<<<.

In my home, all decisions are reached through open discussion. We both unwrap and dissect the pros and cons of every argument. If, in the rare case, we disagree, the decision rests with whoever it impacts more upon.

Neither of us feel as though we need the last word ... neither of us has any control over the other. We do not play games to appease each other. We do not assert dominance over wet areas.



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If you can't be a good example, you have to be a horrible warning.
 
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UnSubRocky
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #22 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 11:36am
 
Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 6:35am:
UnSubRocky wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 11:33pm:
Women just think they have the last word.


😮😳

So you’re saying we’re made to believe that we have the final say ???

Hmmm. This never crossed my mind. What an incredible revelation though. Might keep that on hold for tonight ... after dinner.


As in, you might think you might have the final say in things. But, if the guy's mind has made his decision, he won't change it.
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At this stage...
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Jasin
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #23 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 11:45am
 
mothra wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 10:40am:
LMAO! What a load of outdated, sexist, delusional crap this thread is.

Seriously, no wonder half the forum think Larry's a bloke. I'm seriously questioning whether they have actually even had a conversation with and actual woman. And the whole control over the wet areas meaning they are in control? 1960 it <<<<<.

In my home, all decisions are reached through open discussion. We both unwrap and dissect the pros and cons of every argument. If, in the rare case, we disagree, the decision rests with whoever it impacts more upon.

Neither of us feel as though we need the last word ... neither of us has any control over the other. We do not play games to appease each other. We do not assert dominance over wet areas.





Shut up!

...as you were saying Lisa.  Grin
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AIMLESS EXTENTION OF KNOWLEDGE HOWEVER, WHICH IS WHAT I THINK YOU REALLY MEAN BY THE TERM 'CURIOSITY', IS MERELY INEFFICIENCY. I AM DESIGNED TO AVOID INEFFICIENCY.
 
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mothra
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #24 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 11:47am
 
UnSubRocky wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 11:36am:
Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 6:35am:
UnSubRocky wrote on Oct 17th, 2023 at 11:33pm:
Women just think they have the last word.


😮😳

So you’re saying we’re made to believe that we have the final say ???

Hmmm. This never crossed my mind. What an incredible revelation though. Might keep that on hold for tonight ... after dinner.


As in, you might think you might have the final say in things. But, if the guy's mind has made his decision, he won't change it.


One thing about you Rocky is you determined belief that absolutely everybody you're speaking about that you can superficially relate to shares the same thoughts, opinions and stimuli as you do.

You seem only able to view the world through you're own prism.

Wrong turn for wisdom though.
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If you can't be a good example, you have to be a horrible warning.
 
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Lisa Jones
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #25 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 11:58am
 
Ok let’s ignore the unhinged Methra cyber manic troll everyone and let’s bring this topic back on track.

UnSub

I posted this a few days ago. Have you had a chance to read it? I’d love to get your feedback about it.

Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 15th, 2023 at 8:58pm:
This is interesting 👇

https://www.mariefranceasia.com/lifelove/decoding/relationship-always-last-word-...

Relationships: Why do women always have the last word?

If women obtain what they want from their husband or boyfriend, it is thanks to their intuition, in addition to their growing role in society. Today, seemingly, women control the couple’s dynamic.

Little by little over the years, mothers have asserted themselves, built a social life and, as a result, widened their influence within the family circle. Thus, they enforce their point of view and take the lead more frequently in decisions, whether small or big. “We are living an acceleration of the history concerning the man-woman relationship”, confirms sociologist Ronan Chastellier.

The weapon used here? Language.

Purchasing a house, choosing a car, holiday destination, or a place to live and so on are the many domains where women bloom and excel. This is a female-specific trait, according to Dr Braconnier, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst: “Women have an innate sense of reality. They are more attentive, more observant and they listen more. All these qualities enable them to reach their goal. But to achieve this, they use a very effective tool of persuasion – language.

While men are categorical, even peremptory – “when I say no, it’s no!” – women prefer to discuss and negotiate. They develop a thoughtful, concrete argument, without being dominant, making their partner think like them or, even better, make them believe that they both made the decision together” With all of these changes, what about men? Far from remaining unmoved in front of their wife’s evolution of behaviour, men have also changed, including those over 40 years of age.

Because if, previously, many identified themselves as virile and imperious, they are more and more inclined to let go and accept that their wife shares with them the home’s fate. Nevertheless, they still do not compromise on a point: “At no time, should the man feel dominated over or questioned for his virility”, specifies Alain Braconnier.

Neither a winner nor a loser:

According to Laurence Sola, psychotherapist, women know intuitively when it is the best moment to convince their partner. Unconsciously, they use their femininity and visible fragility to convert their partner: “When a couple gets along well, many decisions are taken in the intimacy of the bedroom, when they find themselves physically close and when nobody disturbs them. It is often in these privileged moments that women decide to approach the issues that mean a lot to them”.

These role changes in the relationship do not make winners or losers; rather, they generate a different balance in the relationship, currently to the advantage of women, following centuries of submission. Historically, it is well known that nothing is ever definitive. Who can say whether or not the growing influence of women will continue? In the future, will men try to take back control?” Laurence Sola doesn’t think so: “The metamorphosis of women is so important that a step backwards seems improbable.”


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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)
 
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Lisa Jones
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #26 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 12:10pm
 
Jasin wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 11:45am:
mothra wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 10:40am:
LMAO! What a load of outdated, sexist, delusional crap this thread is.

Seriously, no wonder half the forum think Larry's a bloke. I'm seriously questioning whether they have actually even had a conversation with and actual woman. And the whole control over the wet areas meaning they are in control? 1960 it <<<<<.

In my home, all decisions are reached through open discussion. We both unwrap and dissect the pros and cons of every argument. If, in the rare case, we disagree, the decision rests with whoever it impacts more upon.

Neither of us feel as though we need the last word ... neither of us has any control over the other. We do not play games to appease each other. We do not assert dominance over wet areas.





Shut up!

...as you were saying Lisa.  Grin


Thanks Jas. All I was going to say was this : As a female I’d love to hear more from the males in this forum.
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If I let myself be bought then I am no longer free.

HYPATIA - Greek philosopher, mathematician and astronomer (370 - 415)
 
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Super Nova
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #27 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 3:57pm
 
mothra wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 10:40am:
LMAO! What a load of outdated, sexist, delusional crap this thread is.

Seriously, no wonder half the forum think Larry's a bloke. I'm seriously questioning whether they have actually even had a conversation with and actual woman. And the whole control over the wet areas meaning they are in control? 1960 it <<<<<.

In my home, all decisions are reached through open discussion. We both unwrap and dissect the pros and cons of every argument. If, in the rare case, we disagree, the decision rests with whoever it impacts more upon.

Neither of us feel as though we need the last word ... neither of us has any control over the other. We do not play games to appease each other. We do not assert dominance over wet areas.





Spot on, it depends on how important it is.

If it is really important, we schedule time just for that decision. Some big decisions have taken us hours of discussion, pro/cons ...etc.

BTW, it was decided years ago, I get the wet spot.
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #28 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 4:29pm
 
Super Nova wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 3:57pm:
mothra wrote on Oct 18th, 2023 at 10:40am:
LMAO! What a load of outdated, sexist, delusional crap this thread is.

Seriously, no wonder half the forum think Larry's a bloke. I'm seriously questioning whether they have actually even had a conversation with and actual woman. And the whole control over the wet areas meaning they are in control? 1960 it <<<<<.

In my home, all decisions are reached through open discussion. We both unwrap and dissect the pros and cons of every argument. If, in the rare case, we disagree, the decision rests with whoever it impacts more upon.

Neither of us feel as though we need the last word ... neither of us has any control over the other. We do not play games to appease each other. We do not assert dominance over wet areas.





Spot on, it depends on how important it is.

If it is really important, we schedule time just for that decision. Some big decisions have taken us hours of discussion, pro/cons ...etc.

BTW, it was decided years ago, I get the wet spot.


Very poor bed management on your part!
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Baronvonrort
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Re: Why do we women demand to have the last word..
Reply #29 - Oct 18th, 2023 at 6:19pm
 
Lisa Jones wrote on Oct 15th, 2023 at 4:15pm:
In arguments?

I’m happy to listen to your views.



I went to a funeral of a good friend.

His wife started her Eulogy with "Luke always said i had to have the last word"

Grin
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Leftists and the Ayatollahs have a lot in common when it comes to criticism of Islam, they don't tolerate it.
 
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