Brian Ross wrote on Jan 12^th, 2025 at 3:28pm:



Brian,
you tell so many fibs that you won't go to heaven.

U.S. — Donald Trump revealed his sensitive side this week when he announced he would let his son Barron pick the first country to invade.

"Ever since he was 2 he's been asking me to invade a country," Trump told reporters while in attendance at Jimmy Carter's funeral. "He'd say, 'Pop, I want to attack Morrowind.' — or some made-up place like that — but now he's old enough to choose a real place, so I'm going to let him pick. I'm going to be the father Biden never could be. Sleepy Joe, I call him. Sleeping on his children's dreams."

A source close to the Trump family claims Barron is deeply touched by the gesture from his father. "I don't know what to say, he reportedly said, overcome with emotion. The elder Trump allegedly responded by holding him close and whispering, "Just say Greenland, me boy."

Though no official announcement has been made, the world's countries remain on high alert. Russia is particularly vulnerable because they're already at war with Ukraine, but experts suggest Barron may not be thinking on those terms. "Honestly, he'll probably troll everyone and invade Taiwan just to throw us off," said retired General Ben Hodges. "It's what I would do."

Critics argue letting a child choose a country to invade is no basis for foreign policy, but Trump disagrees. "It's the kind of gift every father should be able to give to his son," he said. "Plus you really can't go wrong. So many good options, frankly."

Frank wrote on Jan 13^th, 2025 at 8:59am:


Looks like the Babylon Bee's struggling to reframe the big fella's pro-war turnaround, old chap. The base aren't big fans, as we know.

You'll be okay though. You've always loved a jolly endless war. You'll back whatever invasion you're told, you know that.

You banged the drum for Afghanistan, you creamed your screen over Iraq, and you've been bleating away over Iran and Syria and every other shithole country that pops into your head for five minutes, colonialism-ended-far-too-soon.

Babylon Bee, of course, is scoffing at the idea that DL would actually stick to his guns and invade, but you and I know differently. You do want invasions.

But just imagine - what other US prez has required a spin machine to excuse his half-cocked pronouncements? If Sleepy Joe or Hussein Obama had refused to rule out invading sovereign countries to steal their resources you'd have lost your mind, and rightfully so. We all would.

Therein lies the difference. You need a propaganda machine to defend your squishy, spineless reflexiveness. You couldn't function otherwise.

Not satire.

SadKangaroo wrote on Jan 14^th, 2025 at 11:33am:


Remember just recently when he first discovered the word 'groceries'?

He had never heard that word before in his life.



https://www.tiktok.com/@fallontonight/video/7446634337874873642

Speaking to a crowd at the Detroit Economic Club on Thursday, former President Donald Trump explained what the word “grocery” means ― or at least what it means to him.

“I have more complaints on grocery,” Trump, the GOP presidential nominee, said Thursday at the Motor City Casino. “The word ‘grocery,’ it’s a sort of simple word. But it sort of means, like, everything you eat. The stomach is speaking, it always does. And I have more complaints about that ― bacon, and things going up double, triple, quadruple.”

A second-grader knows more than Trump.

MeisterEckhart wrote on Jan 14^th, 2025 at 11:58am:


Nobody is accusing Trump of having an original thought.

Leroy wrote on Jan 14^th, 2025 at 2:29pm:


312 people.

Wow.

MeisterEckhart wrote on Jan 14^th, 2025 at 2:39pm:


I don't think it's outlandish at all.

The bit where he refuses to rule out military force - that's outlandish.

MeisterEckhart wrote on Jan 14^th, 2025 at 2:44pm:


I'm more worried about who'll he rape next.